Life Choices..

[amanda.gallacher]

Hey

I've never really been an academic person. I dropped out of my first year at college half way through, and then resat it last year. For over half of that year, I really wanted to drop out again, but kept myself going. However, the fact I didn't want to be there meant motivation was low... I never studied, I left coursework til last minute and I didn't attend all of my classes. On Thursday, I got my results for AS - C D D E.
Fairly poor.

So where do I go from here? I don’t like education of any form and don’t really want to go to University.

I’ve always been interested in languages. German is the only thing in college I look forward to learning. That’s the only thing I want to learn. I got a C, which I was really disappointed with – wanted an A or B. What can I do on just GCSE’s though?

This is the last chance I have at college before I need to start paying for it, so should I really just get on with it and finish my A levels? Though if I’m going to come out with bad grades, surely it is just a waste of time?

Kinda hoping some of you will have some helpful info.

Thanks

[vanpaun]

Jeez, the more EDU you have, the better job you'll get. Stick with it, you'll regret later.

[Fraggle]

Stick to it, you'll have better job prospects. I screwed up at school, and done bugger all at college, lol and it's shite.

F.

[Mikefule]

I wasted almost all of my opportunities at school, and it took me 20 years to undo the damage - by which time I was a lot further behind in the race than I should have been.

Education is a privilege for which people have fought and died, and for which parents and students in other parts of the world are still making massive personal sacrifices. Make the most of it. You only get one life, and this is not a rehearsal.

Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Let's think: a couple of boring years studying, or a few boring decades in jobs that don't stretch you or pay you enough?

[unibikeling]

Find what your finally interested in. I mean, what could you put your interests into for a job?

i mean, take the schooling, and learn as much as you can, but do it with what you love, or pointing in that direction.

if your interested in languages so much - learn as many as you can, and try and get a job as an interpritor or something.

i love languages, i love spanish, i'm going to learn as much as i can, since languages are saught after in the work force.

[Phil_on_uni]

i was/ am ins the same boat... there just isnt anything that college did for me while i was there.. I took an art class that i loved... but i can do that at home anyway...

part of my struggle is that i already know what i love to do and i already have the necessary skills.. so what do i do then? well pretty much what ever you want..

i say as long as your not unhappy with the choice you make then you are fine...
life is too short to worry about petty things like jobs and money.... unless your job is you life i wouldnt worry too much

[j-n]

The others said enough and I can only second what they said.
(bacause I myself do regret not studying enough a bunch of things too)

I can only add that after you successfully finish what you've begun... (bah, even earlier!) you need to think what do you want to do afterwards (and in general -- what do you like doing in your life).
You like learning languages, german... so, Amanda, although you said you didn't want to go to Univ. you might still consider doing some research about german philology or linguistics -- through some friends or people who are studying those things. Information is your friend and the more you know
the more you are aware what do you want to do/study etc. But the key to this is knowing the possibilities.

Good luck, Amanda

[BillyTheMountain]

Originally Posted by amanda.gallacher

Hey

I've never really been an academic person. I dropped out of my first year at college half way through, and then resat it last year. For over half of that year, I really wanted to drop out again, but kept myself going. However, the fact I didn't want to be there meant motivation was low... I never studied, I left coursework til last minute and I didn't attend all of my classes. On Thursday, I got my results for AS - C D D E.
Fairly poor.

So where do I go from here? I don’t like education of any form and don’t really want to go to University.

I’ve always been interested in languages. German is the only thing in college I look forward to learning. That’s the only thing I want to learn. I got a C, which I was really disappointed with – wanted an A or B. What can I do on just GCSE’s though?

This is the last chance I have at college before I need to start paying for it, so should I really just get on with it and finish my A levels? Though if I’m going to come out with bad grades, surely it is just a waste of time?

Kinda hoping some of you will have some helpful info.

Thanks

Amanda,

Personally, I think it was very brave (and smart) of you to put this question here. It's part of your innate intelligence that you recognize the resources available to you, and that you take advantage of them. I know you have a great deal of intelligence because, among other things, you've learned some special moves on the unicycle.

I started to PM you rather than write this here, because my response is personal. You may hate me for saying all i do here, but there is SOME reason an intelligent woman like you isn't performing up to your potential in school. I can tell you my high school grades were so bad, I could not get into the local state college night school. Despite this, i have reason to believe I could have done better. It's true, I couldn't do trigonometry, or learn Latin, and my English grades suffered because I chose to do book reports on radical books the teacher hated. I read all the time, prolly like you spend time on the unicycle or doing other things you're fond of.

1st tip: Where do you sit in the classoom? did you know that students who sit in the first rows and center seats perform bettere than others? This may because they hear better, see better, feel a better relationship with the instructor, who knows, but grab a good seat in class.

2nd tip: select classes you are high on, nothing that you can foresee being the slightest turn-off. like if you're interested in psychology, skip the required statistics and research methods classes till your last year.

3rd tip: look inside yourself for impediments: sometimes anxiety (even just test anxiety) or depression fracture concentration. sometimes something bad happened to us when we were younger--not our fault at all--and that uncomfortable memory keeps coming in distracting us, especially when we're trying to achieve something for ourselves. LOTS of people experience this. your local bookstore or library or internet will have solutions for this. nothing instant, and you may wish to delay for a semester while you work on this, if it applies.

sometimes we don't try hard enough because we're afraid if we fail, it will mean we're not as smart as we thought. sometimes we believe those people who claim not to study and who do well--i think they're secretly studying.

4th tip: are your friends and family supportive of you? when I hid out finding a private space to practice on the UW, i got no support. oddly enough, i've been out on the streets on my UW, looking foolish and making a mess, struggling and bailing out, sweating and getting up again, you know the drill. But when I do this in public, keeping my shame in check, strangers shout encouragement to me: "Dont give up!" Support comes if we go where it can come to us.

Just a few thoughts that may or may not help. The most important thing is that I'm rooting for you, as you can see other friends here are also rooting for you! it's not easy, but you've mastered dificult things before.

Good luck!!

Billy

[skrobo]

i just want to point out that the people who tell you no are all college aged and the people who tell you yes are older (or kids).

i'm the exception, stay in school. It will be well worth it.

[harper]

Amanda-

School is institutionalization, much like prison or hospitalization. You can't get around that fact and it's impossible to make yourself enjoy it. Your passion, however, is a different story. If you can follow your heart, education is not a chore but a joy. Schools unfortunately make following your heart a difficult thing to do. They tend to make you do distasteful things in order to pursue your passion. In general, this is a good thing because you are exposed to other fields you would otherwise not explore. Sometimes these other fields really ignite an interest in you that you don't expect. Sometimes they don't. The don't part is the drudgery.

If you have always disliked education in any form, as you say, it is unlikely that the distasteful stuff that any university is going to make you do will blossom into new interests. But you don't dislike education in all forms. You like languages. Maybe you love languages. If you can nurture this passion in school the drudgery may be manageable. Maybe you can't make acceptable trade offs in your course schedule and the drudgery ends up being too much for you. This might happen and, if so, it's not your fault, it just is.

Try to structure your school life to maximize your enjoyment (language study for instance) or at least to minimize your anxiety. Start with easy stuff you like and enjoy the small victories you earn learning things that really light you up. Then brace yourself later and fill in the requirements to graduate after you have learned to go to school in a positive environment. If nothing else you have learned the stuff that interests you anyway and it has not been a colossal waste of your time.

Do what you know you like first. Then learn what you think might be helpful toward securing a career that allows you to live in your passion. School isn't for everyone. The world's most successful people are not scholars, they are independent thinkers working in fields that they enjoy. Most people, myself included at age 56, have no idea what they want to do. If you already know what you like at your age you are way ahead of the game.

Finally, university is not necessarily the path you need to follow, or even want to follow. Learning a trade in a trade school or a number of languages either in a language school or in immersion training may well get you on the way to where you want to be. You're young and your goal doesn't have to be set in stone or accomplished in four years.

Good luck. Education is sometimes like unicycling. It's about determination more than anything else.

[oneisenough]

Well, I can't tell you what to do, but I can relate to major life choices. I have dropped out of HS and am going to college two years early. Its defiantly scary making choices that will effect everything down the road. I am not going to try to persuade you either way. What I have learned through all of this, well not even learned, but kept telling myself, is follow your gut feeling, because you decisions effect YOU, so you are the only one that can make them. Shape your life how YOU want it, and re-mold as you change.

[uni57]

It's good that you are thinking hard about this issue. Because if you get it wrong, you are DOOMED for the rest of your life.

Wait a minute. What am I saying???

Your life doesn't need a master plan. In fact, life seems to get in the way of those plans. Things have a way of working out -- in ways you never expected.

If something feels wrong, it probably is. You can intellectualize about it all you want, but when it comes down to it... it's how you feel. If something is draining the life out of you, it's gotta go! But then again, maybe a different perspective or strategy or plan of attack will make you feel differently about it (i.e., maybe something Greg said). Does that seem like a realistic possibility to you?

Luck is really opportunity knocking. And it knocks quite often. The more prepared you are, the better able you are to seize those opportunities. What does it mean for you to be prepared to seize life's opportunities? Maybe university, if you can make it work for you, is the best way. Or maybe you are destined for a more unorthodox approach, like I was (story below). Either way, don't fret. Just do the best you can at any given moment and you will never have any regrets. Make the best decision you can -- and life will work out, regardless of the answer.

Supplemental reading. I thought about deleting this part, but who knows? Maybe it's of some value. It's all about me, me, me, with too much emphasis on luck and fate. But that's the way I recall it happening.

I dropped out after three semesters and never looked back. I wanted to be a computer programmer, so I got a job as a computer operator. It wasn't long before I was doing what I wanted to do -- programming. I honed my skills. I job-hopped a bit in the beginning. And eventually I was making a lot of money. And along the way, I met more than a few people who thought college/university was a waste of time (they are the ones who stuck with it and graduated).

Everything good that has ever happened to me has been through luck, not planning. I got the job as a computer operator because I went to my friend's house to play ping pong. He jokingly mentioned the position was open (and loaned me a book so I could fake my way through the interview). It was on the IBM System/38, the forerunner to the AS/400. Those systems turned out to be the love of my life (I have a profound reverence for those systems, which have affected my thought processes regarding software development deeply and positively). And being an AS/400 programmer eventually led to my current job where I've been very happily employed for the last 19 years. I'm extremely pleased with my career path. But had it not been for that ping pong game setting me on that particular path... where would I be? A Unix programmer, for God's sake? (to my future employers -- that was a joke!)

P.S. - Thanks, Rich Kretschmaier! (the guy who beat me in EVERY SINGLE GAME of ping pong and who turned me on to the genius of Dr. Frank Soltis -- the System/38 and AS/400). Hey, this gives me an idea for a thread...

[GizmoDuck]

Amanda,

I don't think having an education necessarily leads to a successful or fulfilling life. Some of the most successful people I know never went to University or even finished high school. But these people all had one thing in common...they found something they were very passionate about, and they were very persistent and worked hard at succeeding in their chosen field.

If you didn't have that passion though, then it is by far a better choice to have some sort of higher education, whether at university or other tertiary training. Otherwise you could find yourself stuck in some low paying menial job that leaves you in a rut.

Also, university education is quite different to college education (I'm using the term college meaning high-school for the Americans). In University, people tend to be there because they want to, and there is a lot more freedom to choose what they want to learn. I know people who did very badly in College who excelled at University.

I've always been quite academic...spent 7yrs at University. I've only recently come to realise that what I'm doing is not exactly my passion...but what I do now does pay me well enough that I can do things I enjoy...so far this year I've done Uninam, Ride the Lobster, Unicon and we're off to China next month.

It's very hard to know what you want to do at 18. I certainly didn't , and going to Uni was probably the easiest choice. If I had the time again I think I would have taken a year off to work and travel before going to Uni.

To those who say that you need to get an education now...it's never too late and there is no compelling reason to rush. A friend of mine left college at 16, worked as a chef for many years, and then went to University, got into Medical School, then worked as a Doctor for a few years, then decided to go to Law School.

Ken

[zod]

Originally Posted by harper

Finally, university is not necessarily the path you need to follow, or even want to follow. Learning a trade in a trade school or a number of languages either in a language school or in immersion training may well get you on the way to where you want to be.

I'm with Harper.....university/lib arts is not for everyone. I am very glad I have a degree from a state college and am proud of that accomplishment HOWEVER it doesn't bring me any joy in life and I don't know how much it really matters in the job I have. If you have a drive and motivation in a certain area and that path doesn't lead down the standard college path then that's probably not the path to follow. Hell after being a white collar cubicle monkey for 10 years I really would like to go to trade school to be a stone mason so I can feel like I've really done something at the end of the day. So case in point.....most people don't know WTF they want to do in life....even those of us who have been at it for a while.

So don't sweat it!

[Fraggle]

Originally Posted by GizmoDuck

To those who say that you need to get an education now...it's never too late and there is no compelling reason to rush. A friend of mine left college at 16, worked as a chef for many years, and then went to University, got into Medical School, then worked as a Doctor for a few years, then decided to go to Law School.

That's a fair enough point. Though, I'm 25, college etc isn't free, not unless you are signing on, which again is shite. It'l cost me about £1150 for a welding course and two courses in motorvehicle maintenance and repair, and I have living costs on top of that. If you are signing on, you get exam fee's knocked off, but the Jobcentre are idiots about it, and argue that you are to give up the course if they find you what they deem ''suitable employment'', which to them is a job as a till monkey at ASDA, or as a press monkey for an industrial rubber company. No chance of me getting an apprenticeship at 25, even at 20 it can be a git to get on one. Had I made the choices earlier to enable me to do what I want to do, chances are that I'd be a qualified mechanic and welder, I'd have all the tools I could possibly need, I'd be in long term stable employment, and it would have been free.


F.