World's worst chatter upper

Mikefule · 2007-01-21, 07:14 PM

I went to the gym this evening for a sauna and swim. As is so often the case, the swimming pool and sauna area were full of studenty types, many of whom are from abroad - Nottingham has two universities.

I went into the sauna with my book and sat down quietly opposite a slim and pretty young girl of Chinese appearance. A man came in and sat down next to me and, after considering his opening gambits for a few seconds, tried,
"Are you French?"

The young girl pondered this question for all of two seconds before replying, with some asperity, "Do I look French?"

In a hole, but still digging, the man ventured, "I heard your accent earlier..."

Chinese girl raised her eyebrows and snapped, "French! No, I'm Chinese, look," pointed to her eyes, then got up and walked out.

It was all I could do to restrain myself from saying, "Bonsoir, mademoiselle," as she left.

It had been a rare privilege to watch a master of the art of seduction at work. Pity it was his day off.

tobbogonist · 2007-01-21, 07:20 PM

Mike, how could you. From what i have read on this forum, a man of your knowledge, vocabulary and writing skills should have chipped in to help our fellow man (you come across as one you could sweet talk a lemon), not just let him die then sneak off and post about him on the internet.

where are our morals going ?

monkeyman · 2007-01-21, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikefule

It was all I could do to restrain myself from saying, "Bonsoir, mademoiselle," as she left.

gkmac · 2007-01-21, 09:32 PM

I knew a teacher who was Chinese in appearance, even had a Chinese sounding name. She taught French.

In fact she was more qualified for the role than you thought, since apparently that French was her first (or amongst her first) language. Perfect fluency, and a French accent when she spoke English.

She did say that she grew up in France.

mawesome · 2007-01-22, 02:40 AM

You should've said.

"No, she's not french...but I am..."
And slowly inch towards him suggestively.

dudewithasock · 2007-01-22, 02:41 AM

He's a smoother talker than I am, at least.

mawesome · 2007-01-22, 02:45 AM

Yeah, at least he didn't open with "Hey, you's gots some o' them lady breastses dontcha?!"

tobbogonist · 2007-01-22, 04:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dudewithasock

He's a smoother talker than I am, at least.

oh dear

dan de man · 2007-01-22, 05:04 AM

i think he would have gotten a better response if he had done that

iridemymuni · 2007-01-22, 05:21 AM

well it was better than saying "your asian, right? do you speak english des ka?"

JJtheunicycle · 2007-01-22, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mawesome

Yeah, at least he didn't open with "Hey, you's gots some o' them lady breastses dontcha?!"

hahahahahahahahahahaha

Borges · 2007-01-22, 09:54 AM

Had it been me back in th' day I'd have taken a bit more time think about what to say. I would have come up with something a few hours after she left.

mawesome · 2007-01-22, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Borges

I would have come up with something a few hours after she left.

..and then hire a P.I. to track her down just so you could use it?

Yeah, me neither...

johnhimsworth · 2007-01-22, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tobbogonist

Mike, how could you. From what i have read on this forum, a man of your knowledge, vocabulary and writing skills should have chipped in...

...with "bonsoir, mademoiselle" as she left. I think he would have appreciated it really. Restraint is overrated at times.

GILD · 2007-01-22, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikefule

I went into the sauna with my book

And you're not married yet?
There's no justice in this world.

2007-01-21, 07:14 PM	#1
Mikefule Roland Hope School of Unicycling Join Date: May 2002 Location: Long Bennington, Lincolnshire, England. Posts: 6,502	World's worst chatter upper I went to the gym this evening for a sauna and swim. As is so often the case, the swimming pool and sauna area were full of studenty types, many of whom are from abroad - Nottingham has two universities. I went into the sauna with my book and sat down quietly opposite a slim and pretty young girl of Chinese appearance. A man came in and sat down next to me and, after considering his opening gambits for a few seconds, tried, "Are you French?" The young girl pondered this question for all of two seconds before replying, with some asperity, "Do I look French?" In a hole, but still digging, the man ventured, "I heard your accent earlier..." Chinese girl raised her eyebrows and snapped, "French! No, I'm Chinese, look," pointed to her eyes, then got up and walked out. It was all I could do to restrain myself from saying, "Bonsoir, mademoiselle," as she left. It had been a rare privilege to watch a master of the art of seduction at work. Pity it was his day off. __________________ "I try to avoid UPDs, not do scientific research on them." Bruce Dawson

2007-01-21, 07:20 PM	#2
tobbogonist Patronus unicycleus Join Date: May 2006 Location: Melbourne Age: 24 Posts: 4,111	Mike, how could you. From what i have read on this forum, a man of your knowledge, vocabulary and writing skills should have chipped in to help our fellow man (you come across as one you could sweet talk a lemon), not just let him die then sneak off and post about him on the internet. where are our morals going ? __________________ Your life is a storm, thunder is your music and lightning is your electric dancing legs, groove on friends. Groove on.

2007-01-21, 09:32 PM	#4
gkmac       Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,244	I knew a teacher who was Chinese in appearance, even had a Chinese sounding name. She taught French. In fact she was more qualified for the role than you thought, since apparently that French was her first (or amongst her first) language. Perfect fluency, and a French accent when she spoke English. She did say that she grew up in France. __________________

2007-01-22, 05:04 AM	#9
dan de man Byronic hero Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Ewar Woowar Age: 19 Posts: 3,962	i think he would have gotten a better response if he had done that __________________ [QUOTE/into the blue]Am I the only one who finds it incredibly egotistical when someone sigs themselves? [QUOTE/dan de man]yes , yes you are

2007-01-22, 05:21 AM	#10
iridemymuni i just dribbled Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Brisbane, Austraila Age: 23 Posts: 3,614	well it was better than saying "your asian, right? do you speak english des ka?" __________________ maker of the happy birthday threads _________ Just put the new uni together in the driveway stopped to move the car and ran over the uni. Felt like putting my head under the tire. - JustOneWheel

2007-01-22, 09:54 AM	#12
Borges Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Ringsted, Denmark Age: 36 Posts: 1,403	Had it been me back in th' day I'd have taken a bit more time think about what to say. I would have come up with something a few hours after she left.

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