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Old 2008-10-22, 02:42 AM   #1
Unicaw89
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09 Torker jokes

Ok...Many of you may not be aware of the 09 Torker(or porker) jokes that started at CMW. There was a certain rider that NEVER quit talking about how "Ohh my goodness" great the next Torker model is going to be thanks to his assistance in their designing. Several riders had no way to vent but to just start making 09 Torker jokes, many variations off the Chuck Norris jokes...So since their were to many to remember, and I know we have a very creative bunch here. I would like for you to post your 09 Torker jokes here!


Chuck Norris cant break an 09 Torker, an 09 Torker can break Chuch Norris.

Someone once tried to break an 09 Torker, he woke up 3 months later.

Only the Lava from mount doom that created the 09 Torker can break it.

After being scarred from seeing the plans for the 09 Torker, Kris Holm claimed to tear his ACL so he would never have to ride one.

You can never ride a Torker 09, it can only ride you.

Historians believe that the Mayan civilzation dissapeared soon after they created the 09 Torker, they suggest that they rode them into the center of the earth.

The government has had plans for the 09 Torker since 1905

Scientists discovered that the egyptians used 09 Torkers to build the pyramids.


When God created woman, he used a rib from man. When God created the 09 Torker, he used the beard from Chuck Norris.

On the 8th day God created the 09 Torker.

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Old 2008-10-22, 02:49 AM   #2
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I am the new '09 Torker.
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Old 2008-10-22, 02:51 AM   #3
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The new '09 Torker was forged in Mount Doom.
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Old 2008-10-22, 02:53 AM   #4
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Chuck Norris made love into the melted metal of the preproduction torker frames. Those are the Torker 09's

How light is the torker 09? torker output:Undefined word: Light
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Old 2008-10-22, 04:41 AM   #5
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an 09 Torker challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Having Testicles" contest. The Torker won by 5.

what? Too soon?

But seriously, Torkers don't suck nearly as much as they did, say, 5 years ago.
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Old 2008-10-22, 04:45 AM   #6
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An '09 Torker travelled back in time and saved JFK's life by stopping the bullet ala Neo. Kennedy's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
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Old 2008-10-22, 05:17 AM   #7
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'09 Torker factoid: Uranium (U) (atomic number 92) is the naturally occurring element with the highest atomic weight. Now we know why the '09 torker is sooo heavy, and also why it GLOWS...even in broad daylight!

Far into the future, I can just hear the reminiscences of these heavy, bullet-proof piggies! "Tanks for the memories!"
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Old 2008-10-22, 05:34 AM   #8
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I don't get it.
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Old 2008-10-22, 05:45 AM   #9
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Me neither, torker isnt really a bad brand... Unless this years DX is really that heavy, I dont see the point in this.
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Old 2008-10-22, 05:53 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peleschramm View Post
I don't get it.
I don't really either, but Cody's title suggests making torker jokes, and so the only thing I could think to poke fun at, is the weight. But I've owned one and never had any complaints. It was strong and well built, and the price was right.
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Old 2008-10-22, 05:55 AM   #11
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How does the 09 hold up? stonger, lighter, less out of the way? what is it? what are the differences between 08 and 09 modols?
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Old 2008-10-22, 07:31 AM   #12
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Ok this thread isn't as much about torker as it is about the kid who got on everyones nerves from CMW 08. He just never stopped talking about how great the 09 was going to be....So it kidna started this brand of jokes, and they seem like a fun new past time.
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Old 2008-10-22, 09:38 PM   #13
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It has been determined that the '09 Torkers are 100% the cause of Global Warming! Do not ride one near an iceberg, or immediate melting will occur and result in dramatic rise in ocean levels!
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Old 2008-10-24, 02:06 AM   #14
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If you wear special sunglasses, you will see that the TRUE reality that you LIVE to OBEY TORKER!

Name:  torky.jpg
Views: 213
Size:  132.5 KB
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Last edited by MuniAddict; 2008-10-24 at 02:06 AM.
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Old 2008-10-28, 12:48 AM   #15
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i'm afraid my head will blow up if I look up a picture of the 09 torker
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