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Old 2011-02-02, 06:02 AM   #1
Punxsutawney Phil
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Happy Groundhog Day!

Well here we are, the first hour of my big day, and I really should be sleeping given how early those bastard tophats are going to smoke me out in the morning. But it's always tough, even when I can convince them to add a little wine to my water dish. It's not just the anticipation of delivering my annual Truth. Given the storm today, that would seem a foregone conclusion, although I've learned over the years not to be hasty. Time and the morning will tell. No, it's anticipation for my one annual contact with my latest, greatest fan club: the Association of Hot Female Nordic Reporters. Seems like there's more of them every year, and they're not shy about asking to pet the groundhog. I just wish they'd fly back over in August, for a mid-summer update on how I spend my off-season.

To my unicycling friends, I wish you as always a Happy Groundhog Day. Pedal on, regardless of the weather.

PPhil
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Old 2011-02-02, 06:58 AM   #2
DSchmitt
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congrats for posting happy groundhogs day..for like the past 5 years

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Old 2011-02-02, 01:10 PM   #3
Punxsutawney Phil
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congrats for posting happy groundhogs day..for like the past 5 years
Well it's a good day to be happy, isn't it? In such a complex world, it's nice to get binary once in a while. And who can't get behind the idea of an early spring this year?

You're welcome.

PPhil
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Old 2011-02-02, 03:05 PM   #4
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Eawly spwing should make for good wabbit season!

Hahahahahahaha
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Old 2011-02-04, 11:33 PM   #5
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Punxsutawney Phil ..... very interesting that you live in a small town in PA. I like Groundhog Day movie! I went to Woodstock in Illinois that is where Groundhog Day filmed!
Never forgot on Goundhog Day in 2011 .... 20.2 inch of snow and between 55 and 60 mph winds in Chicago! 3rd largest snowstorm in Chicago histroy! I saw bright flash light and boom at night before Groundhog Day and I found out about it from the Weather Channel called is rare Thundersnow! Wow!
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Old 2012-02-02, 11:43 PM   #6
Punxsutawney Phil
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Well things were pretty busy around the old den last night, and I didn't get around to writing my usual night-before post. But the important thing is that the dawn came clear and cold, and the Great Prognosticator hence fortold: Six more weeks of winter, bitches!

Beyond the joy of delivering my annual Truth, it's always nice to spend the morning with my loyal fans, especially the rapidly growing "Norse Goddesses" chapter. They do know how to rough up a groundhog's fur, that's for sure. Tonight I sleep well, with the best dreams of the year.

To my unicycling friends, I wish you as always a Happy Groundhog Day. Pedal on, regardless of the weather.

PPhil
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Old 2012-02-03, 08:30 AM   #7
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Beyond the joy of delivering my annual Truth...
Speaking of which, Phil, what's your track record been over the years, anyway?
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Old 2013-02-13, 08:41 AM   #8
Punxsutawney Phil
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Speaking of which, Phil, what's your track record been over the years, anyway?
Johnfoss, I'm sure I'm not the first to bid you STFU, and I predict I won't be the last. Track that prediction and see how I do.

As I was forced to note in a copycat Groundhog Day thread, I'm in a fragile and pain-wracked state, typing these words with broken paws bandaged from what those bastard tophats did to me. After so many years of being rudely smoked out every February 2nd at the crack of frozen dawn, this year I finally got some revenge by taking a Groundhog-Sized dump on my handler as he pulled me from my burrow. Perhaps you noticed, Foss, yes? If not, a careful review of the YouTube footage will show the magnificence of my rebellion! Come visit me in lovely PA, and I promise to work up the same welcome for you.

But of course, as soon as the cameras had packed up and gone, I was invited to a "special performance review" 30 stories below Gobbler's Knob. I'll spare you the painful details, but let's just say that the SPCA representative was not invited to the meeting.

On the positive side, we'll be having an early spring. No doubt the Scientific Community will rush to blame it on Global Warming, but make no mistake bitches, it was me. I called the shot; the thaw is on its way.

To my unicycling friends, I belatedly wish you a Happy Groundhog Day. Pedal on, regardless of the weather.

PPhil
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Old 2013-02-21, 06:25 AM   #9
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Johnfoss, I'm sure I'm not the first to bid you STFU, and I predict I won't be the last.
Well done, spoken like a true fortune teller!
Quote:
Perhaps you noticed, Foss, yes? If not, a careful review of the YouTube footage will show the magnificence of my rebellion!
Congratulations on your giant, well-timed poop. I guess.

But it makes me wonder. Are you truly proud of your 1-day-a-year job, or would you rather just sleep through the winter?

BTW, Punxsutawney looks like a nice town, except for that annoying insurance salesman. You guys should get rid of him.
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Old 2013-02-21, 01:13 PM   #10
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Are you the groundhog that i outted this morning?
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Old 2015-02-03, 07:14 AM   #11
Punxsutawney Phil
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Happy Groundhog Day, Uni Pals

Normally, once the Tophats may their souls burn in hell have had their way with me, I fall back into a deep sleep, to recover from the ordeal of being rousted so early for their sick amusement. Bastards.

But today, sleep alludes me.

Perhaps it's the lingering adrenalin from a job done so well. When all my Northeast brethren are praying for a break from the storms, it would be tempting to try to throw the game. Close my eyes and pretend the shadow wasn't there. But I'm a professional, I can't afford to play favorites.

The shadow I saw, a job done well.
Six more weeks of wintry hell.
Unless yer from Seattle, I fears,
then it's six more weeks of rain and tears.

Go Pats!

PPhil
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Old 2015-02-03, 01:56 PM   #12
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Playing to my sorrow, Phil. And good on your cousin with his nip on the mayor's ear in Wisconsin.

I could say, "go Hawks," but the Hawks already went.
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Old 2015-02-04, 07:33 AM   #13
Punxsutawney Phil
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And good on your cousin with his nip on the mayor's ear in Wisconsin.
That was a nice touch, wasn't it? Just because we're furry and cuddly and massively attractive to Nordic Women, doesn't mean we aren't competitive. He was trying to one-up me for my 2013 throw-down. And I think he came close, but I maintain that taking a $hit on a tophat trumps biting a mayor. That said, I feel bad for my cousin, because I know from experience the price he likely paid. Another "private performance review", where they "forgot" to invite the SPCA and PETA observers.

I realize now reading back over the thread, that I was so out of sorts yesterday I forgot my traditional closing:

To my unicycling friends, I wish you as always a Happy Groundhog Day. Pedal on, regardless of the weather.

PPhil
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Old 2017-02-02, 08:14 PM   #14
Punxsutawney Phil
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Hello Friends,

What's not to love about Winter? That's what I find myself contemplating today as I rest and try to recover from my annual mishandling by those bastard tophats may fishbones lodge in their throats. There's lots to love...skiing, snowshoeing, riding around in AWD vehicles while lesser cars skid into the ditch, upping your cognac consumption. All sorts of things.

While I get to call the shot every year, it's rare that I have a horse in the race. Shadow or no shadow, it's the same to me. The outcome hardly matters in the context of such institutionalized cruelty to animals. But this year, I have to confess to the smallest amount of joy at seeing my shadow. I'm ready for a drink and a little ear-scratching from one of the pretty reporters from Norway, but I'm not ready for spring.

To my unicycling friends, I wish you as always a Happy Groundhog Day. Pedal on, regardless of the weather.

PPhil
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Old 2017-02-03, 06:14 PM   #15
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The contnet of this thread seems really familiar but I can't put my finger on why?
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