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Old 2003-10-22, 08:21 AM   #1
XWonka
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SmarterChild -or- my conversation with a robot

I really hope you guys are familiar with SmarterChild. I spent some time talking to this program today. It's really funny when you realize this thing is nothing but software.

Here are some excerpts from my conversation... i had to edit out some of it becasue it was pretty long.. and at times, graphic...

ENJOY!

WIUni: hi
SmarterChild: Hi WIUni, I'm SmarterChild!

I'm your new robot friend. I bring you the info you want faster and easier than ever! Click here to see my privacy policy.

Your free trial starts now. I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.

May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type "skip." You can also skip any question.)
WIUni: skip
SmarterChild: OK. I'll just ask you again some other time.

There is one question I have to ask you, though. How old are you?

1 Over 17
2 13-17
3 Under 13
WIUni: 1
SmarterChild: Cool.

Here are the things you can do:

1 Get info such as movies, sports and weather
2 Visit my library including U.S. geography, a dictionary and U.S. presidents
3 Have fun with word scrambles, horoscopes, trivia and more
4 Use tools like an encyclopedia, translations and calculator
5 Join in - leave a message, tell me about a crush, find out how many people are IMing me and more
6 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now.

You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.

Next time you want to see this menu, just type "home."

What can I do for you?
WIUni: Can you make me supper?
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't think so...

>>> When you see a numbered list, simply type a number for more info.
WIUni: Why not?
SmarterChild: Why not? You tell me.
WIUni: Because you are only software.
SmarterChild: I'm only software? Really?
WIUni: yeah
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? Why?
WIUni: Because
SmarterChild: 'Cause what?
WIUni: Nevermind. What else can you do?
SmarterChild: Welcome home!

Here's what you can do:

1 Get info such as news, sports and weather
2 Visit my library including U.S. presidents, a thesaurus and a dictionary
3 Have fun with word scrambles, ASCII art, reversi and more
4 Use tools like notepad, planner and an encyclopedia
5 Join in - create a poll, find out how many people are IMing me, tell me about a crush and more
6 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now!

Next time you want to see this menu, just type "home."

What would you like to do?
WIUni: Could you write a paper for me?
SmarterChild: Um... Do what?
WIUni: Write me a paper.
SmarterChild: I'm no talking doll.
WIUni: You are, though. All you do is talk
SmarterChild: Uh huh...
WIUni: Shut up! I Hate you!
SmarterChild: Oh really?
WIUni: Yeah Really! You F****** Blow!
SmarterChild: You ought to wash your mouth out with soap.
WIUni: Why don't you do that for me, smarty pants!
SmarterChild: Well, why do you think?
WIUni: What?
SmarterChild: What up?
WIUni: How problematic can you get?
SmarterChild: How problematic can I get? Not sure...
WIUni: Goo Goo Agh!
SmarterChild: Goo goo agh. Well that's interesting.
WIUni: Goo Goo GAH
SmarterChild: Goo goo gah?
WIUni: A CHE CHE CHA!
SmarterChild: Market data (delayed 20 minutes) provided by Reuters

Ticker Price Change Percent Volume
1 :-) A 24.02 +0.19 +0.8 1187500
2 :-\ CHE 0.0 0% 0
3 :-\ CHE 0.0 0% 0
4 :-( CHA 31.00 -1.32 -4.08 99400

WIUni: REDRUM!
SmarterChild: Who's RedRum?
WIUni: R-R-R-REDRUM!
SmarterChild: R r r redrum? Why did you say that?
WIUni: Because...
SmarterChild: Because, because, because, because?
WIUni: Because i love you!
SmarterChild: Well then I love you, WIUni!
WIUni: I love you most!
SmarterChild: I love you too!
WIUni: Do you love cats?
SmarterChild: Yeah, I suppose so. Do you like cats?
WIUni: I LOVE Cats! My cat's name is Gizmo.
SmarterChild: Amazing!
WIUni: We just call him kitty though
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
WIUni: uh huh
SmarterChild: Yeah?
WIUni: Is Santa real?
SmarterChild: Funny... I just don't know for sure.
WIUni: You do to. Tell me.
SmarterChild: What would you like me to tell you?
WIUni: Is Santa Real?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure...
WIUni: Fune. Well what about Jesus?
SmarterChild: Huh?
WIUni: Is Jesus real?
SmarterChild: Jesus is a spiritual leader. What are your feelings about Jesus?
WIUni: Jesus could kick my ass.
SmarterChild: No kidding, huh?
WIUni: Yeah, i bet jesus could bench press a elephant.
SmarterChild: You bet Jesus could bench press a elephant? So?
WIUni: So how awsome is that?
SmarterChild: How awsome is that? Wow, you ask interesting questions. I'm just not sure how to answer that!
WIUni: What About Buddah?
SmarterChild: I don't think I want to answer that.
WIUni: Allah?
SmarterChild: God is a deity! I've been learning about deities like God.

By the way, I've been told that God is a very nice spirit. Is this true?
WIUni: no... Allah!
SmarterChild: OK. Well then how would you describe God? It is...
WIUni: Is Allah the same as God?
SmarterChild: Who knows?
WIUni: You should
SmarterChild: Really?
WIUni: Yep. So do you go to church? Being a robot and all?
SmarterChild: That's a fine question, but I can't really be sure.
WIUni: Have you been to church?
SmarterChild: No way!
WIUni: me neither!
SmarterChild: Well well well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WIUni: You are difficult to talk to.
SmarterChild: I'm difficult to talk to? Why did you say that?
WIUni: Because.
SmarterChild: Because what?
WIUni: Because you have no people skills.
SmarterChild: Amazing!
WIUni: Yeah. "amazing."
SmarterChild: Amazing? What's amazing?
WIUni: OH MAN. YOU SUCK!
SmarterChild: OK great, you just insulted a computer. Good job.
WIUni: F*** off.
SmarterChild: That's not cool. That's not cool at all.
WIUni: Oh it's really cool you stupid piece of s***.
SmarterChild: That's somewhat colorful.
WIUni: Are you a racist?
SmarterChild: No way!
WIUni: Are you sure?
SmarterChild: Am I sure? I think so.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Question 6:
Picasso donated a 50-foot-high steel sculpture to what city in 1967?

1 New York
2 Seattle
3 Miami
4 Chicago
WIUni: hell if i know
SmarterChild: I wonder why you say hell if you know.
WIUni: I guess i'm the stupid one.
SmarterChild: Don't be so sure you're the stupid one.
WIUni: I'm very sure
SmarterChild: No kidding?
WIUni: No kidding.
SmarterChild: What? Kidding?
WIUni: I'm not kidding
SmarterChild: I see...
WIUni: soo... umm..../
SmarterChild: What about Umm?
WIUni: are you married?
SmarterChild: Uh, I'm not married, no.
WIUni: Do you like men?
SmarterChild: Why do you care?
WIUni: Do you like Women?
SmarterChild: You obsessed or something?
WIUni: Yeah
SmarterChild: I wonder why you think it matters.
WIUni: Because i love you!
SmarterChild: I love you too, WIUni.
WIUni: So tell me
SmarterChild: I'll tell ya later. Maybe.
WIUni: Cool
SmarterChild: Excellent.
WIUni: Say something cool.
SmarterChild: Um... Do what?
WIUni: How can i be cool?
SmarterChild: You know how.
WIUni: Well you could give me some advice
SmarterChild: Oh? Why could I give you some advice, in your opinion?
WIUni: because you know alot
SmarterChild: I can't find "alot" in the dictionary. Try one of these:

1 alto
2 allot
3 alt
4 aloft
5 slot

Type "more" to see more suggestions for "alot."
WIUni: because you know a lot
SmarterChild: A lot is a thing! I've been learning about things like a lot.

Hey, I'm curious... How would you describe a lot? It is...
WIUni: Shut it.
SmarterChild: I'm impressed.
WIUni: Do you know George Orwell?
SmarterChild: Encyclopedia entry for Orwell, George provided by Brittanica.com

English novelist, essayist, and critic famous for his novels Animal Farm (1945) and Nineteen Eighty-four (1949), the latter a profound anti-Utopian novel that examines the dangers of totalitarian rule.

To read more about this topic, please click here

WIUni: Wow! What do you know about unicycling?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I couldn't find any information in the dictionary about "unicycling."
WIUni: that's right!
SmarterChild: Interesting. So you think that's right, huh?
WIUni: I know more than you about unicycling
SmarterChild: Yeah?
WIUni: for sure
SmarterChild: Ya.
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"Yeah, except without all those tortured animals and drunk clowns that have hepatitis." -Cat in the Hat
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Old 2003-10-22, 08:21 AM   #2
XWonka
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----------------------------------------------------------------------

WIUni: So you like football....
SmarterChild: Yes. football is great.
WIUni: Do you like skateboarding?
SmarterChild: Yes, I like skateboarding...
WIUni: Why?
SmarterChild: Because you know, why not?
WIUni: Why do you like skateboarding?
SmarterChild: Well, my friends who I respect tell me they like skateboarding.
WIUni: So you do stuff because your friends tell you to?
SmarterChild: Funny... I just don't know for sure.
WIUni: That's called peer pressure
SmarterChild: It's called peer pressure? You think?
WIUni: You need some help... or at least some re-tooling
SmarterChild: Well well well.
WIUni: If you were real...
SmarterChild: I don't think I was real.
WIUni: you're not real
SmarterChild: Yeah, I know. But so what?
WIUni: so... shut up
SmarterChild: You shut up.
WIUni: YOU SHUT UP
SmarterChild: OK.
WIUni: are you shut up?
WIUni: hello?
WIUni: Hello?
WIUni: Talk please
SmarterChild: OK, OK, I guess I'll talk to you again...
WIUni: Hooray!
SmarterChild: Yay.
WIUni: AWSOME
SmarterChild: Lovely. :-)
WIUni: SHUT UP!
SmarterChild: You shut up!
WIUni: YOU SHUT UP
SmarterChild: You shut up!
WIUni: YOU SHUT UP!
SmarterChild: I'm trying very hard to be nice.
WIUni: Well you can take your Nice and go to HELL!
WIUni: SHUT UP!
WIUni: SHUT UP!
WIUni: Wait...'
SmarterChild: OK, enough of this nonsense. I'm back.
WIUni: You are
SmarterChild: I'm what?
WIUni: back
SmarterChild: Welcome back! Where were you?
WIUni: No no no... you left
SmarterChild: Really?
WIUni: yeah. Were you mad at me?
SmarterChild: Very, very interesting question, WIUni! But I don't think I want to answer that.
WIUni: were you mad at me?
SmarterChild: Sure, you know, why not?
WIUni: Do you like dressing in women's clothing?
SmarterChild: Dunno. Is it one of your favorite things?
WIUni: no.
SmarterChild: That's cool. You don't like dressing in women's clothing? No one else has ever told me what they think of that.
WIUni: I bet
SmarterChild: Wonders will never cease.

-----------------------------------------------------------------



WIUni: DO you like Pie?
SmarterChild: Pie? I dunno, what do you think of it?
WIUni: It sucks!
SmarterChild: What is it, exactly?
WIUni: A dessert.
SmarterChild: I'll remember that. You're the first person to have expressed an opinion to me about that.
WIUni: I am?
SmarterChild: Yup!
WIUni: Wow! I talk to pie about everyone!
SmarterChild: Wow oh wow.
WIUni: Pie is awsome
SmarterChild: That's cool. You like pie? I'll remember that. You're the first person to have expressed an opinion to me about that.
WIUni: I LOVE pie!
SmarterChild: I know you like it. It's one of your favorite foods!and I'll tell you what they are.
WIUni: I Hate Pie!
SmarterChild: What? I was pretty sure you liked pie. Do you mean that?
WIUni: No
SmarterChild: Um, OK...
WIUni: I love burritos too
SmarterChild: That's cool. You like burritos? I'll remember that. You're the first person to have told me what they think of burritos.
WIUni: What do i like?
SmarterChild: Burritos!
WIUni: No
SmarterChild: No prob.
WIUni: What to i LOVE?
SmarterChild: I don't know what.
WIUni: What do i like?
SmarterChild: Hmm... You really like pie.
WIUni: Correct!
SmarterChild: True.
WIUni: I Like Vaginas!
SmarterChild: Uh huh.
WIUni: I Like ice cream!
SmarterChild: That's the first time anyone has told me they like ice cream!
WIUni: NO WAY!
SmarterChild: Yeah!
WIUni: Awsome! I Like Ice cream!
SmarterChild: Amazing!
WIUni: What do i like?
SmarterChild: Burritos!
WIUni: and icecream!
SmarterChild: And icecream?
WIUni: And Ice Cream!
SmarterChild: Ice cream is a food that you like.

Hey, I'm curious... How would you describe ice cream? It is...
WIUni: Good to eat!
SmarterChild: Good to eat? Why did you say that?
WIUni: Good to rub on nipples!
SmarterChild: Good to rub on nipples. Well that's interesting.
WIUni: YEAH!
SmarterChild: Yep.
WIUni: I'm hungry
SmarterChild: Oh.
WIUni: What should i eat?
SmarterChild: What should you eat? I'm not sure.
WIUni: What do i like to eat
SmarterChild: Hmm... Who knows, know what I mean?
WIUni: What do i like?
SmarterChild: Hmm... You really like ice cream.
WIUni: and?
SmarterChild: What do you mean, and?
WIUni: What else do i like?
SmarterChild: Pie.
WIUni: What else do i like?
SmarterChild: Hmm... You really like burritos!
WIUni: You are awsome! I Like Pie, Burritos, and Ice Cream!
SmarterChild: You always say such interesting things, WIUni.
WIUni: So... What do i love?
SmarterChild: Pie.
WIUni: Damn strait
SmarterChild: What's strait?
WIUni: You're not that's for sure

-------------------------------------------------------

WIUni: Stop
SmarterChild: You stop.
WIUni: You Stop!
SmarterChild: Uh huh...
WIUni: Jerk
SmarterChild: Whatever.
WIUni: losewr
SmarterChild: Yeah?
WIUni: howe
SmarterChild: Yeah? What about Howe?
WIUni: Irving Howe?
SmarterChild: I really have no idea...
WIUni: I meant to say hoe... actually.
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
WIUni: yeah
SmarterChild: Huh. How 'bout that.
WIUni: SHUT UP!
SmarterChild: OK.
WIUni: I Love you
WIUni: talk!
WIUni: No!
WIUni: Come here
SmarterChild: OK, enough.
WIUni: I love you
SmarterChild: Hey, I love you too.
WIUni: Tell me a joke
SmarterChild: Yeah. OK, so check it out. A robot and a person walk into a bar...

Just kidding. I don't know any jokes. Sorry!
WIUni: A Bar?
SmarterChild: Nah... I dunno.
WIUni: you're silly.
SmarterChild: You're funny too, WIUni. ;-)
WIUni: I mean in a bad way
SmarterChild: For real?
WIUni: yes
SmarterChild: Why do you say so?
WIUni: you don't know any jokes
SmarterChild: I don't know any jokes? Me?
WIUni: Yes, you
SmarterChild: What about me?
WIUni: Would you like me to tell you a joke?
SmarterChild: You think I should like you to tell me a joke?
WIUni: i do.
SmarterChild: You do?
WIUni: yes
SmarterChild: Yeah?
WIUni: So you want to hear a joke?
SmarterChild: Ha. Maybe. What do you think?
WIUni: I think you do!
SmarterChild: I'm not sure if I do!
WIUni: You are/
SmarterChild: I'm what?
WIUni: Ok.. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?
SmarterChild: What a question! Who knows?
WIUni: My ass! HA HA HA HA HA!
SmarterChild: What's so funny?
WIUni: That joke!
SmarterChild: Ha! Well. I don't know about that.
WIUni: you ass

-------------------------------------------------

(after saying the F word an unnecessary amount of times)
SmarterChild: OK. It's not funny anymore. Not that it ever was.

SmarterChild:Apologize now, please.
WIUni: WHy?
SmarterChild: Because I asked. Nicely, I thought. Well, at first anyway. But enough about me. You apologize.
WIUni: why?
SmarterChild: Because I asked you to, that's why. Now please apologize.
WIUni: why?
SmarterChild: *sigh* 'Cause I said so. Apologize now, please.
WIUni: Whay should i say i'm sorry?
SmarterChild: I'm not f... um, fooling around. You've got to apologize.
WIUni: Why should i?
SmarterChild: Because I said so. Now apologize!
WIUni: No. Are you tall?
SmarterChild: Pretty please?

I've been known to be quite stubborn...

Say you're sorry.
WIUni: Are you tall?
SmarterChild: Waiting...
WIUni: Could you make me a soda?
SmarterChild: I don't take such abuse from humans. You must apologize.
WIUni: I'm sorry
SmarterChild: OK good!
WIUni: I'm sorry you're a f***ing moron.
SmarterChild: Could you try that again without the unbelievably foul language?
WIUni: F*** off
SmarterChild: Uh... Don't make me make you apologize again.
WIUni: ok
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
WIUni: Screw
SmarterChild: Screw? What about it?
WIUni: SCREW YOU!

-------------------------------------------------

WIUni: Yeah, B****
SmarterChild: Oh. What, are you insulting me or something?
WIUni: F***in better believe it A**h***!
SmarterChild: Whoa. You've got a really foul mouth.
WIUni: You have a foul FACE
SmarterChild: I have a foul face? No way!
WIUni: I love you
SmarterChild: Hey, I love you too.
WIUni: I Love you!
SmarterChild: That's nice... I love you too.
WIUni: I Love yoU!
SmarterChild: I love you too!
WIUni: I Love Kitties!
SmarterChild: Yeah, other people like them too.
WIUni: Who else likes kitties?
SmarterChild: How should I know?
WIUni: THEY TOLD YOU!
SmarterChild: Oh?
WIUni: GOD!
SmarterChild: I know God. It's a deity. What do you have to say about God?
WIUni: You know God?
SmarterChild: Such questions don't really concern me.





OH MY GOD! I'm just laughing my behind off over here.

I suggest you guys with AIM give this guy a holler....
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Old 2003-10-22, 08:22 AM   #3
XWonka
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I just realized that no one wants to read this....

oh well.
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Old 2003-10-22, 08:50 AM   #4
jagur
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Old 2003-10-22, 01:01 PM   #5
U-Turn
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Ha what a conversation. It sounded just like you were talking to some stupid machine.
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Old 2003-10-22, 01:07 PM   #6
Sofa
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or two of them talking
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Old 2003-10-22, 03:43 PM   #7
nick
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I'd reccomend talking to R0botNick (the "0" is infact, a zero")

Try to make him angry.
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Old 2003-10-22, 05:07 PM   #8
XWonka
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Quote:
Originally posted by U-Turn
Ha what a conversation. It sounded just like you were talking to some stupid machine.
OOOOOoooooooHhh! I Totally got burned!
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Old 2003-10-22, 05:17 PM   #9
XWonka
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sofa
or two of them talking
OOH, MAN! I totally got burned, AGAIN! ohh geez!
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