Men's Bathroom Etiquitte - did I violate it?

[SqueakyOnion]

I had an interesting experience today. I walked into the restroom right behind another dude (about my age). This is a small restroom, with two urinals (side-by-side, with no divider) and two stalls. The other dude walks towards the urinal and is standing in front of it getting ready to take care of business, when he notices me approaching the urinal next to him. He quickly zips up and shuffles into a stall!

Now, I understand basic urinal etiquette; always choose the urinal that is farthest away from other people. In this case, I was forced to choose the only other urinal available, right next to him. One stall was open, but I felt like it would be a waste of water and effort to use it, and would occupy the stall for someone who actually needed to use it.

I can't understand why this other dude freaked out and ran away from the urinal. Is there some latent homophobia? Was my action just weird? If so, why? There is nothing logical about why it's bad to stand next to another dude to pee, especially if there's only two urinals.

So, do you guys think I violated bathroom etiquette? If so, how badly?

[CottonAnatomy]

Everytime I've been in a men's room, which is more times than I'd like to admit to, there are always guys standing right next to one another at urinals. They don't seem to get dick-frenzy or anything.

I'm also often surprised how my presence seems to go almost unnoticed always. ha

[JJuggle]

For any number of reasons that we may gleefully and at the same time pointlessly speculate about, some men are shy about peeing next to other men. You did nothing wrong and frankly neither did the other guy. You both did what you were most comfortable with and, as far as I can tell from your story, no injuries physical or emotional were inflicted.

[Zzagg]

no injuries physical or emotional were inflicted.SqueakyOnion seems to have been a little disturbed by the incident, though...
He should find the man back and sue him!:D

[SqueakyOnion]

as far as I can tell from your story, no injuries physical or emotional were inflicted.

SqueakyOnion seems to have been a little disturbed by the incident, though...
He should find the man back and sue him!:D

Good idea! I can sue for the emotional injury of REJECTION, and all the pain it caused me. Maybe I won't have to worry about paying off my college loans! :p:o



I know I didn't do anything wrong, I was just curious if bathroom etiquette had somehow...changed...

(To use an example, a certain older relative of mine still refers to flip-flops as "thongs," sometimes embarrassingly in a public place. I hate to think that at 21 I am somehow "behind the times," but must acknowledge the possibility.)

[DoctorPunch]

Technically, you did.

You were supposed to go into the stall. Unless there's dividers or a kid's urinal involved walking up to a dude and taking a leak right next to him with available urinal buffers or stall available is a violation.

lol@dickfrenzy. Good one cotton.

[SqueakyOnion]

You were supposed to go into the stall.

Why?

I understand the urinal buffer/divider concept, but why does that also extend to forcing me into a stall, a different type of toilet that is intended to facilitate the removal of solid waste?

[Michaelgoround]

I don't like urinals.

[Phil_on_uni]

When you enter a bathroom you must start by choosing the urinal furthest from the door... If that is unavailable then you mus leave one urinal between you and the guy at the last urinal... If there is no space there, Then you must use the stall. All the information on proper manly bathroom etiquette can be found in this book:


38250

[Naomi]

[QUOTE=DoctorPunch;1313455]Technically, you did.

You were supposed to go into the stall. Unless there's dividers or a kid's urinal involved walking up to a dude and taking a leak right next to him with available urinal buffers or stall available is a violation.

QUOTE]

Well, I don't claim to be an expert on this but....surely the fact that there were TWO urinals suggests that the place was designed, expecting that a side by side configuration might occur at times. If not they could have saved have the cost of the installation.

Nao

[ThisGuyIKnow]

Etiquette would dictate use of the stall. Side by side urinals without a divider should never be used simultaneously unless there is no other option available. A stall is an available option. Perhaps they are ridiculous but that's what the etiquette rules are.

But of course etiquette itself is optional.

[CottonAnatomy]

When he ran away to the stall you should of yelled "Don't worry, I only saw the tip!" or something like that, to assure him and avoid awkwardness.

[Naomi]

But how can you expect any guy to think about etiquette whilst the main part of his brain has such important business to attend to?


Nao ... running away as fast as she can. ;-)

[Matt_V]

When bathrooms are designed with an even number of urinals problems will always result from it. There should be a minimum of three urinals so that this sort of thing doesn't happen.

I wouldn't have gone into the stall either. In general its a good idea to follow the "code" but sometimes it can be broken. This is an example of one of those times. The bathroom was designed incorrectly.

Another time that the "code" can be broken is at a movie theater after a long movie finishes and everyone is trying to go to the bathroom at once.

[habbywall]

Flip Flops are thongs, I also call them this in public and usually speak that word louder so people get the drift of what I'm discussing.

[reprah]

What the hey? Are you telling me there were no sinks or floor drains in this place? You're not limited to as few options as you mention. There's always the other guy's leg, as well.

[ThisGuyIKnow]

It's perfectly acceptable to use adjacent urinals when there are no other options. The problem is that etiquette changes and public bathrooms are usually designed for whatever the current etiquette dictates. You rarely see a single trough in any new construction.

[Apoc56]

To clear everything up, watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

[pedrotejada]

Wow! This is one of the best vids I've ever watched!

[Hung Like Saddam]

I don't think you broke any etiquette rules but i would have chosen to go in the stall.

[SqueakyOnion]

When he ran away to the stall you should of yelled "Don't worry, I only saw the tip!" or something like that, to assure him and avoid awkwardness.

I was sitting in the library when I read this, and LOL'd a bit too loud when I read it...

+++

I guess I just don't get why using the second of two urinals is against etiquette, even if there's a stall available. The urinals are mean to be used if you have to pee only. Stalls are to be used for pooping, or pooping & peeing. Sure, they CAN be used for peeing only, but in such a case waste water, make it harder to aim, you have to fuss with the seat and and/or door latch, AND take up a stall if someone else needs to use it for pooping.

IT MAKES NO SENSE! :confused:

So, WHY do you guys think this etiquette developed into such an irrational procedure?

[idiorythmic]

Stalls are to be used for pooping...they CAN be used for peeing only, but in such a case... take up a stall if someone else needs to use it for pooping.

But peeing should (if no medical problems are present) take only a few seconds, surely a pooper can wait and get the stall he needs when you're done.

btw whenever I need to use the stall for peeing I have this strange habit of making a wad of toilet paper to wipe the bowl if I've made some splatter there. Flush it all away and any waiting poopers have a clean (sort of) place to work. I'm surprised how few of my fellow humans seem to think of such a simple act!

As for the wasting of water, I am of the belief that for human sanitation and health we should never EVER think about the waste of water. Humans need water to live and be healthy and in such cases I advocate using however much water is necessary for those ends. Any idea how much water is *wasted* with the new hand washing guideliness to prevent flu transmission? We can save water elsewhere, (gardening, car washes, efficiency in water distribution systems, development of additional fresh water production technologies).

[rob.northcott]

I'd have used the other urinal. In fact, if roles were reversed and I'd been the first bloke, I'd think it pretty odd if somebody else came in and avoided using the other urinal - I'd be wondering if I was giving off some pervy vibe. It feels weird if there is a whole row of them and somebody uses the one right next to you, but if there are only two then refusing to use the other one just seems overly paranoid. If he stood there staring at my genitals or something (actually, just talking to somebody is not good) then I'd have a problem, but just using the (only free) urinal for its designed purpose wouldn't be "wrong" in my opinion.

Rob

[ThisGuyIKnow]

I'd have used the other urinal. In fact, if roles were reversed and I'd been the first bloke, I'd think it pretty odd if somebody else came in and avoided using the other urinal - I'd be wondering if I was giving off some pervy vibe. It feels weird if there is a whole row of them and somebody uses the one right next to you, but if there are only two then refusing to use the other one just seems overly paranoid. If he stood there staring at my genitals or something (actually, just talking to somebody is not good) then I'd have a problem, but just using the (only free) urinal for its designed purpose wouldn't be "wrong" in my opinion.

Rob

England has more lax etiquette. I think it's due ot the number of troughs that still exist in pubs.

[Into the blue]

A friend of mine had an annoying habit of when we were out in a busy nightclub and happened to be in the gents at the same time, would make a point of standing next to me, would stare down at Little Blue, then look at me, and in a louder than normal voice would exclaim "Call THAT a cock?!"

B*stard.

[ezas]

that video is a load of bullocks. If you can't skip a urinal you wait? Bullocks! I say in the two urinal situation you descrbed what you did was fine. Either choice would have been fine but I would have done what you did. This leaves the stall open for someone who needs to sit down to eliminate.

I spent a couple of years travelling a lot for business and have been in more airport bathrooms than I can count.

If there is a 'skip' available, make use of the skipped urinal, otherwise take what is availabe.

[SqueakyOnion]

In fact, if roles were reversed and I'd been the first bloke, I'd think it pretty odd if somebody else came in and avoided using the other urinal - I'd be wondering if I was giving off some pervy vibe.


Me too! That's why this situation was so perplexing to me. I, too was wondering if I was giving off some kind of vibe, since he was about to do his business, and then zipped up and went to a stall!

Maybe I should have asked: "Hey dude, mind if we pee together?" :p

[reprah]

A friend of mine had an annoying habit of when we were out in a busy nightclub and happened to be in the gents at the same time, would make a point of standing next to me, would stare down at Little Blue, then look at me, and in a louder than normal voice would exclaim "Call THAT a cock?!"



It sounds like you and I run with the same crowd.

[Into the blue]

It sounds like you and I run with the same crowd.

The same friend, when he'd finished weeing before me would, as he left, gently push me from behind. Having my hands full (as it were) the only way to stop myself falling into the urinal would be to use my forehead against the wall.

Again, b*stard.

[DSchmitt]

it'd only be weird if there was like 10 stalls, and you still went right next to him.

[ThisGuyIKnow]

The same friend, when he'd finished weeing before me would, as he left, gently push me from behind. Having my hands full (as it were) the only way to stop myself falling into the urinal would be to use my forehead against the wall.

Again, b*stard.

You use 2 hands to pee?

[Into the blue]

You use 2 hands to pee?

Yep.

Don't you?

[ThisGuyIKnow]

Yep.

Don't you?

Especially not at a urinal

[Into the blue]

Especially not at a urinal

I don't get where you're coming from.
What difference does it make where you are?
I use one hand to unzip myself and hold my flies open, and the other hand to hold Little Blue.

Doesn't matter where I am, it's what I've always done.

[ivan]

ThisGuyIKnow pees Homer Simpson style. With his hands behind his head.

[Jerrick]

Ahaha, this thread is funny.

You did nothing wrong, the other guy was just weird.

[DSchmitt]

I don't get where you're coming from.
What difference does it make where you are?
I use one hand to unzip myself and hold my flies open, and the other hand to hold Little Blue.

Doesn't matter where I am, it's what I've always done.


ummm....it's only proper bathroom etiquette to not use two hands.


....lol

[BillyTheMountain]

A friend of mine had an annoying habit of when we were out in a busy nightclub and happened to be in the gents at the same time, would make a point of standing next to me, would stare down at Little Blue, then look at me, and in a louder than normal voice would exclaim "Call THAT a cock?!"

B*stard.

Was that only when women had invaded the men's room?

[MuniOrBust]

Could the other guy have just decided he needed to take a dump?

If he just had to take a leak, I can still understand. I have the same 2 urinal no divider set up at work. Every so often I'm in the same situation where someone walks up before I'm started, and for some weird reason I can't relax enough to go. It's fairly rare, and usually I didn't really have to pee that bad in the first place. If I stay until the other person leaves the bathroom, it's like a switch and I. P. Freely. I can't explain why... just some weird brain wiring I guess.

If someone is already at a urinal, I go to a stall. If someone is following me into the bathroom, I go to the stall. I hate when people talk to me, but I'll respond curtly.
Pee in peace.

[unicycledood]

When you enter a bathroom you must start by choosing the urinal furthest from the door... If that is unavailable then you mus leave one urinal between you and the guy at the last urinal... If there is no space there, Then you must use the stall. All the information on proper manly bathroom etiquette can be found in this book:


38250

The epitome of manliness wears a skirt?

Lol the guy u upset was probably just shy.

[ThisGuyIKnow]

What difference does it make where you are?


A urinal you don't have to aim as much.

Either way though 1 hand is plenty to hold fly open and aim.

Do we need to take a poll of this too?

[BillyTheMountain]

Paruresis
Definition
The inability to urinate in the presence of others.
Description
Paruresis, also known as shy or bashful bladder, is the inability or difficulty to urinate in the presence of other people, when under time pressure, or on vehicles such as trains or airplanes. Urination is normal when those constraints or factors are absent, typically when in the bathroom at home. Research suggests up to 17 million Americans, 3.25 million Canadians, and 51 million Europeans suffer from the social anxiety disorder. Paruresis ranges in intensity from mild, in which the person can urinate in public facilities under certain circumstances, to severe, in which the person can only urinate when alone at home. The condition almost exclusively affects males although it can occur in females.
Paruresis can be socially disabling and can often completely take over a person's life. Examples include avoiding travel, social functions, and sports arenas. Just as serious are the psychological consequences, such as depression, and anxiety. Job choices and career decisions are often adversely affected. People with the condition often avoid jobs where there is mandatory drug testing done by the supervised collection of a urine sample.
Causes and symptoms
Paruretics (people who suffer from paruresis) commonly refer to three triggers that influence them when in public restrooms. For the typical paruretic, these triggers must be removed, or the person must try another toilet, for urination to occur on a particular occasion. First, the condition occurs much more frequently when strangers are present in the restroom as opposed to friends or relatives. Second, proximity plays a role in the problem. Proximity for the paruretic is both physical, involving the relative closeness of others in or near the restroom, and psychological, involving the need for privacy. The most frequent complaint about physical stimuli in public facilities is the absence of suitable partitions and doors on urinals or stalls. Third, temporary psychological states, especially anxiety, anger, and fear can interfere with urination.

[maestro8]

Paruresis

...and people say pharmaceutical companies are making up disorders just to sell more drugs. Hah!

[saskatchewanian]

double urinals, no problem.

two seater outhouses...

[Naomi]

With so much medical knowledge about, maybe this thread is the place to ask about one of life's major mysteries.

One can be some distance from home, say an hour's drive away, and the need to "go" becomes apparent. But you are sure you can wait, and so continue to drive, without any particular discomfort developing.
So why, as you approach the door, those last few yards, key in hand, can the discomfort so suddenly become almost unbearable, causing one to have to jump up and down to " save" the situation? Having waited an hour to appear, why can the discomfort not wait 20 more seconds? I am sure guys can experience much the same, for I have observed them jiggling up and down, and I have sometimes intentionally fumbled and dropped the door keys, just to watch the pained reaction.

I can be so cruel at times.

Nao

[UniBrier]

A friend of mine had an annoying habit of when we were out in a busy nightclub and happened to be in the gents at the same time, would make a point of standing next to me, would stare down at Little Blue, then look at me, and in a louder than normal voice would exclaim "Call THAT a cock?!"

B*stard.Just tell your friend you brought you're convenient travel size Little Blue for public use and you have a proper one for home use.

[Into the blue]

Just tell your friend you brought you're convenient travel size Little Blue for public use and you have a proper one for home use.

I'd normally retort with "Your mum seems to think so."

[JerryAttrick]

I've read most of the thread with interest, as this matter has been of some interest recently. Various other aspects of body language have become interesting to me as well - e.g. the smile to strangers that doesn't show the teeth, and doesn't reach the eyes.

I suspect there is something deeper than etiquette involved here. It is almost a base animal instinct that is coming into play when males relieve themselves in close proximity to others. Is it territorial? Is it a defensive issue? Are we actually needing space to "do our business" while on the look out for an enemy?

Just spending my "penny worth"

Jerry

[DSchmitt]

as long as you're not peeing/crapping on people/sinks/the floor you're doing great...I could care less what ANYONE thinks in the bathroom...just get your business done and get out.

public restrooms are filthy as hell. you should just be focused on touching as least as possible, not on etiquette.

[Tirving]

You should have followed him and maybe even said something like..... "I'm gonna getcha!" or "Come here! Gimme that little guy!...."

That would have been awesome :)

Some people are just too uptight about things..... little things :eek:

[CottonAnatomy]

as long as you're not peeing/crapping on people/sinks/the floor you're doing great...I could care less what ANYONE thinks in the bathroom...just get your business done and get out.

public restrooms are filthy as hell. you should just be focused on touching as least as possible, not on etiquette.

ha Exactly. Most of the times I've found my way into men's rooms were because male friends wanted me to check out how disgusting they were. One literally had fece's smeared everywhere, and this was in a public mall. And the men in there just went about their pissing as if all men's room's look that way. Ugh.

[DSchmitt]

I try to avoid public restrooms as much as possible. we used to have to clean the restrooms outside the restaurant i used to work at. they weren't part of the restaurant...they were like the bathrooms for the entire street (downtown st. aug, just tourists walking around all day) so people from like a radius of half a mile would all use that restroom.

people ALWAYS crap on the floor. it's unbelievable. but one time in particular, someone crapped on the floor and all over the toilet, tracked it out, and had somehow smeared crap all over the sinks. but they flushed....!lol.. it was the middle of a busy saturday. and to my luck, me and some other dude got chose to clean it because we weren't on the line, haha. my throat was practically burnt from all the acid constantly rising from me almost about to throw up like 15 times during the cleaning. it was the closest i had ever been from walking out on a job. i was like, jesus, this is a health hazard...

because of that job, my view of public restrooms is completely tainted. which is for the better really. all i can picture when i walk into a public restroom is everything around me covered in microscopic feces. and it probably is...haha.

[JJuggle]

My folks had a shop for years in an old Lower East Side tenement. There was one bathroom per floor. Basically it had an old toilet with the tank up on the wall and a pull chain. And a sink. And one of these signs which my mother stole when they closed up shop for good. She had it framed as a house warming present for me. It's in our downstairs bathroom.

In an odd way it's one of my most cherished possessions.

[BillyTheMountain]

ha Exactly. Most of the times I've found my way into men's rooms were because male friends wanted me to check out how disgusting they were. One literally had fece's smeared everywhere, and this was in a public mall. And the men in there just went about their pissing as if all men's room's look that way. Ugh.

I think the most memorable bathrooms I ever saw was in 1984, at the Beacon Theater, when the Dead Kennedys were playing.

Before the show even started, toilet paper was EVERYWHERE except on the rolls, water was EVERYWHERE, and other MESS was everywhere.

It was too much for one person, so it had to be a group effort.

And instead of watching the concert, the kids kept slam dancing and stage diving, non-stop. Punks.

[Borges]

Just tell your friend you brought you're convenient travel size Little Blue for public use and you have a proper one for home use.

...besides, you can't propperly judge equipment when it's on stand-by.

[JJuggle]

I think the most memorable bathrooms I ever saw was in 1984, at the Beacon Theater, when the Dead Kennedys were playing.

Before the show even started, toilet paper was EVERYWHERE except on the rolls, water was EVERYWHERE, and other MESS was everywhere.

It was too much for one person, so it had to be a group effort.

And instead of watching the concert, the kids kept slam dancing and stage diving, non-stop. Punks.
My high school graduation was at the Beacon Theater. You should have seen what the grandparents did to the bathrooms. Codgers!

[Rowan]

Paruresis
Definition
The inability to urinate in the presence of others.I didn't know that correct term- I've always referred to it as "stage fright".

[BillyTheMountain]

I've read most of the thread with interest, as this matter has been of some interest recently. Various other aspects of body language have become interesting to me as well - e.g. the smile to strangers that doesn't show the teeth, and doesn't reach the eyes.

I suspect there is something deeper than etiquette involved here. It is almost a base animal instinct that is coming into play when males relieve themselves in close proximity to others. Is it territorial? Is it a defensive issue? Are we actually needing space to "do our business" while on the look out for an enemy?

Just spending my "penny worth"

Jerry

A lot of dogs seem to like to sniff around for a spot where another dog has already peed, then they pee there.

[Fraggle]

At least you didn't walk up to the same urinal and start peeing.

[DSchmitt]

YouTube- The Great Escape

1:41

lol

[BillyTheMountain]

A lot of dogs seem to like to sniff around for a spot where another dog has already peed, then they pee there.

At least you didn't bend down to sniff his butt:p

[ntappin]

I think you were fine. he did make a strange choice, but I think nobody really did anything that bad.

Personally I probably would have done the stall upon seeing someone else there, but if I were about to take a piss and you showed up I wouldn't bother moving. I wouldn't have thought anything of it though if you had gone to the stall if I was at the urinal or if you came to the stall, I would just think that you had to pee.

[johnfoss]

(without reading most of the preceeding potty-talk)
I'm in NZ now, and have been in several mens' rooms that use big stainless steel "waterfalls" for a urinal. Room for up to 10 guys (depending on their cooty-sensitivity). Two of these were in pubs, so cooties should be low.

Get over yourselves! :)

[nubcake]

he was just worried that once you caught a peek you would get all sex nuts and retard strong

[BillyTheMountain]

he was just worried that once you caught a peek you would get all sex nuts and retard strong

Maybe ....

I still can't get over the fact that squeaky onion actually tried to pee RIGHT NEXT to another peeing man!!!

What on Earth was he thinking?

Won't anyone tell him the truth about this? We all just want to make him feel OK about such a social disaster?

With friends like that, he doesn't need enemies, and he'll never learn proper bathroom etiquette.

Really.

Who here wants to pee standing shoulder to shoulder with another man?

Not me!!:eek::eek::eek:

[reprah]

Maybe ....



Not me!!

Hmmm....I wonder why I don't remember writing that, Billy.

[UniBrier]

The problem here is the element of competition is missing. You've all heard of the proverbial "Pissin' Match" (Although to this day I haven't found it in the Book of Proverbs).

There should be distance lines drawn on the floor and height lines drawn in the urinals. Whoever can hit the highest line from the farthest distance wins!

That will have them lining up shoulder to shoulder!

[Goats_On_Unicycles]

if there are two urinals, they're there for a reason.
if two people aren't supposed to them at the same time, there'd only be one.

[JJuggle]

if there are two urinals, they're there for a reason.
if two people aren't supposed to them at the same time, there'd only be one.
Yeah, like we want YOU standing next to us while we try to take a piss. ;)

[Goats_On_Unicycles]

I figured that someone would counter my argument in such a fashion... phlamph!

[JJuggle]

phlamph!
Back at ya.

[dudewithasock]

I hate urinals because there's no toilet paper. Harumph.

[BillyTheMountain]

The problem here is the element of competition is missing. You've all heard of the proverbial "Pissin' Match" (Although to this day I haven't found it in the Book of Proverbs).

There should be distance lines drawn on the floor and height lines drawn in the urinals. Whoever can hit the highest line from the farthest distance wins!

That will have them lining up shoulder to shoulder!

What about targets for accuracy?

[UniBrier]

What about targets for accuracy?Already commercially available! (http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Wee-Wee-Pals-Boys.html)

I"m thinking going green too. Install a little water wheel to power a generator to offset the restroom's power useage. You won't be able to keep the green crowd out of the restroom!

[Straightarrow]

Hopefully this is irrelevant but just in case you are ever faced with this choice while considering using a two story outhouse: always take the upper stall.

The old axiom "Sh*# runs downhill" is just as valid when human waste is in freefall.

[Straightarrow]

Jimmy Dean actually wrote a song about a "two-story outhouse" It was called "Big Bad John"