Why a uni is better than a man/woman

[uniShark]

When it whines too much, you can just replace the offending part.

It's OK to mount the uni without permission.

When it starts looking old, you can just re-paint it.

The seat does not get wider over time.

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[MuniAddict]

Why a uni is better than a man/woman?

They don't nag.
No Mother-in-law!
You don't have to remember birthdays, anniversaries.
They don't get offended or ask you where you've been, or when you're coming home.
They don't look terrible in the morning. (Except for maybe some mud from the previous day's ride, but that's a badge of honor with MUni!)
They don't make you watch soaps or rent dvds like "Green fried tomatoes", or Steel Magnolias.
There's a trail called "G-spot" that you can actually FIND!

And, most importantly, you can UNscrew a unicycle. :p
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Oh, and the only "rubber" you need is on your uni's rim! :)
Oh, and your uni's "nipples" will never sag like a fried egg hanging off of a nail! :p

[MuniAddict]

I just wanted to add, that this is all in JEST, so please don't get mad ladies, lol. :o

But my main point is...
Unis: You can't live without 'em, and you can't live without 'em! :)

[Mikefule]

This thread is sexist and will probably be deeply offensive to chicks.

[MuniAddict]

This thread is sexist and will probably be deeply offensive to chicks.
Not if they have a healthy sense of humor! :D:D:D But I do apologize if anyone is offended, but it was only in jest, as I said before. I welcome the ladies to tell us why unis are better than guys, lol! Let us have it, haha! And there's plenty of playful male-bashing all over the place...and some, maybe not so playful. And it's all non-specific and no person(s) were singled out. Like "Blonde" jokes, "Mother-in-law jokes". My gosh, if "PC" were too find its way into movies and tv, what would become of Family Guy or countless movies, like Jackass!? :p

Btw, I would say that some of eminem's and other rappers lyrics a beyond "offensive", and downright nasty, and mean-spirited to women, yet they sell millions of records...um, cd's, lol.

[Mikefule]

Not if they have a SENSE OF HUMOR! :D:D:D There's plenty of playful male-bashing all over the place...and some, maybe not so playful. And it's all non-specific and no person(s) were singled out. Like "Blonde" jokes, "Mother-in-law jokes". My gosh, if "PC" were too find its way into movies and tv, what would become of Family Guy or countless movies, like Jackass!? :p

Which of course is why I referred to the little laydeez as "chicks".

[MuniAddict]

Check this out. Lisa Laminelli roasting Gene Simmons! It just goes to prove the ladies can dish it out with the best of them! Rated "PG" for a few not-so-bad expletives.
I hope that this won't "deeply offend" Mike Fule, lol! :p:D:rolleyes:

YouTube - Lisa Lampanelli Roasts Gene Simmons!

[MuniAddict]

Which of course is why I referred to the little laydeez as "chicks".Lol! I totally missed that. Well played! :D

[uniShark]

I tried to name the thread to essentially invite some guy-bashing!
Hope it doesn't manage to get me banned before I've even got 10 posts. . . :o

[carrieliney]

In the interest of evening things up a bit...

- The uni will never steal the remote or complain about watching Fried Green Tomatoes (get it right, MuniAddict! :P)
- The uni may randomly dump you, but at least you don't have to fight over who gets to keep the apartment.
- You can ride it in public without getting arrested.
- You can adjust the length just the way you like it.
- It won't get jealous if it catches you looking at other unis.

[Hazmat]

If you were at home and it was raining heavily outside and your wife/girlfriend was at the back door and your unicycle was at the front. Who would you let in first???
Easy, the unicycle. Cause it won't complain once it is inside. :D

[Jeremy R]

If its lower parts get too loose, you can always tighten them back up.

(for the ladies: )
If it won't get hard, you can just replace the tube and pump it up again.


Uni's are all the merrier the more that you use.

Most unis, don't mind if you strip them, they will just anodize over.

[MuniAddict]

In the interest of evening things up a bit...

- The uni will never steal the remote or complain about watching Fried Green Tomatoes (get it right, MuniAddict! :P)
- The uni may randomly dump you, but at least you don't have to fight over who gets to keep the apartment.
- You can ride it in public without getting arrested.
- You can adjust the length just the way you like it.
haha, great line! :p

[ally1776]

Woman's response...
-Doesn't stop when its tired...keeps going till your tired.
-Doesn't disappear for days.
-it's always ready when you want a ride
-you don't have to warm it up
-doesn't require too much attention.
-doesn't require food all the time
-never complains
-doesn't get jealous
-enjoys public displays of holding the seat without squirming.
-frame doesn't sag in the middle after awhile
-can accept the fact you drop it
and
if it get's soft-it can be blown up without much effort to it's performance level :D

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(for the ladies: )
If it won't get hard, you can just replace the tube and pump it up again.


Jeremy almost took the words right out of my mouth, lol

Guys speaking for myself, I for one won't get mad, hope you don't either, lol. I enjoy the challenge, hehe...:)

[tomblackwood]

That Gene Simmons clip was hilarious. No mercy...

[MuniAddict]

Because it's the only "one" I can always rely on! :)

[Dane]

You can have more than one unicycle without them getting jealous

you can ride your mates unicycle in front of them

you dont have to wine and dine a unicycle before you can mount it

[MuniAddict]

If you decide to replace your uni with a newer one, the old one won't stalk you, or slap you with a lawsuit for everything you've got!

Which reminds me....Get a UNI Sir Paul! :D

[Geeta]

My unicycle never, ever meets me at the door after work with the question, "What's for dinner?"

My unicycle never, ever sulks when I spend the day (or even the week!) riding my horse instead.

My unicycle never, ever second guesses where we're going or why; and never insists that we go where it wants to go instead.

My unicycle never, ever complains that I spent the day outside riding instead of cleaning the house or doing the laundry.

My unicycle never seems to think I should be entertaining it, but it's always entertaining to me.

My unicycle never, ever turns on the TV; and it doesn't have a page on Facebook.

My unicycle never has a judgmental word about anyone or anything; it has no gender issues, it doesn't play silly passive aggressive games; well, really it's just pretty darned undemanding and always ready for a good time....

[Caterpillar with a hookah]

Sounds like some of you have relationship issues. Something to work on.

Sometimes, in moments of tenderness, I attempt to hug my unicycle. It just stands there, cold, limp, and unresponsive. Why won't it talk to me? Why won't it look me in the eyes?

[daretodream]

Sounds like some of you have relationship issues. Something to work on.

Sometimes, in moments of tenderness, I attempt to hug my unicycle. It just stands there, cold, limp, and unresponsive. Why won't it talk to me? Why won't it look me in the eyes?


If you dont think your relationship has issues then for sure you have something to work on!!!!!

[daretodream]

A Uni is better than a man because when it rolls over it doesnt snore

A uni is better than a man because when you go in circles with it its actually fun

A uni is better than a man because after riding my uni I am always satisfied.

A uni is better than a man because you can ride it as hard and long as you like and you dont have to worry about it suddenly deflating .

Even if you did get a puncture you can get going again with a spare.

A uni is better than a man because unless your with with the likes of Keanu Reeves you'l always get more admiring looks and comments when your with your uni

A uni is better than a man because it will always come out with you

A uni is better than a man because you always have fun with it

A uni is better than a man because rubbing up against it doesnt make its spokes poke out.

A uni is the same as a man because when you talk to them neither have actually listened.:p:p:p

[Mikefule]

A uni is the same as a man because when you talk to them neither have actually listened.:p:p:p

Sorry, what was that last one? I was miles away.

A uni has 36 tight little nipples.

[Hung Like Saddam]

A uni has 36 tight little nipples.

Mine has 48 ;)

[Mikefule]

Mine has 48 ;)

Er... but mine is more better than a woman than yours is because it hasn't, er... spoke as much as yours.;)

[TheJoker]

because it doesnt mind if i look at other unis parts.

[Hazmat]

because it doesnt mind if i look at other unis parts.
But i think you might. :p

[nubcake]

bitches ain't nothin' but ho's and tricks!

- once you've paid for it you can keep riding it without further charges, until needing servicing.

(but when is the last time your uni has done... um... that thing where... oh nevermind)

[MuniAddict]

Why a uni is better than a man/woman?

Because it's never "2 tired" to go for another ride! :cool: