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habbywall
2009-04-10, 02:06 AM
Just thought with all these religion threads sometimes we could use a place to just settle down and relieve some stress.
So come here to masturbate.
This thread is non-segregated as well. Guys, Girls, Pre-op, Post-op, Transexual, Multi-Sexual, and pretty much just anyone that wants to come "get off" this thread is for you.

dudewithasock
2009-04-10, 02:09 AM
You made this thread about 15 minutes too late. ):

MuniAddict
2009-04-10, 02:28 AM
Or you could go here (http://www.tommygump.com/images/logo.jpg)! :p

uni57
2009-04-10, 02:28 AM
You made this thread about 15 minutes too late. ):LOL, damn you again! We really didn't need to know that.

MuniAddict
2009-04-10, 03:31 AM
LOL, damn you again! We really didn't need to know that.Yes, it should be filed under, "TMI".

Phil_on_uni
2009-04-10, 04:20 AM
can we masturbate together?

Phil_on_uni
2009-04-10, 04:49 AM
not if you say things like that?

Goats_On_Unicycles
2009-04-10, 05:03 AM
girls masturbate too...

Phil_on_uni
2009-04-10, 05:11 AM
girls masturbate too...

ya but they are like cockroaches... you turn on the light and.....um........
..............

they aren't masturbating anymore......

........
........

ya

SirSkillz
2009-04-10, 05:34 AM
This is disgusting...9 year olds read these posts! The kid will say, "hey mom, what's masturbate?" and then they'll be banned from the website!

Jerrick
2009-04-10, 05:52 AM
And learn something they will learn no matter what, or are already doing. Dun dun dun!...

peleschramm
2009-04-10, 05:57 AM
How about we turn this into another Christianity debate thread? Who's up for it?

Phil_on_uni
2009-04-10, 06:11 AM
that or we could start posting pictures

dan de man
2009-04-10, 08:06 AM
or Gifs

Joseppi
2009-04-10, 08:33 AM
that or we could start posting pictures

+1

or Gifs

+2

Really though...thanks for the funny thread

wickedbob
2009-04-10, 10:47 AM
I find this extremely offensive. I view masturbation as prayer, not something to 'just do'; It's not something to do for fun. 'Oh jolly lets have a good time and tickle thy old fun giggle berries'. No.

I masturbate to become close with the universe and to figure out who I really am. It is not something I take lightly.

This thread is strongly inappropriate, and strongly suggest masturbation is a recreational activity. Disgusting.

Jerrick
2009-04-10, 11:11 AM
I suggest.

MrBoogiejuice
2009-04-10, 01:03 PM
or Gifs

You didn't just gif on the monitor did you?

unibikeling
2009-04-10, 01:41 PM
ahaha..

good thread...

were turning into OTN.

peleschramm
2009-04-10, 02:39 PM
Here, let's get the debate started:

I'm right!

Your turn.

unibikeling
2009-04-10, 02:41 PM
Here, let's get the debate started:

I'm right!

Your turn.

No you arent!

your turn.

peleschramm
2009-04-10, 02:43 PM
Yes I am.

MuniAddict
2009-04-10, 03:05 PM
How about we turn this into another Christianity debate thread? Who's up for it?
Jiziz H. Criminy! :eek:

Bondo
2009-04-10, 03:51 PM
You made this thread about 15 minutes too late. ):

Now we know what the sock is for...

:)

Jeremy R
2009-04-10, 03:54 PM
Now we know what the sock is for...

:)
We already knew that from another thread.

dudewithasock
2009-04-10, 04:51 PM
Jesus masturbated. I mean, how could he not, he must have been stressed all the time.

unibikeling
2009-04-10, 05:03 PM
Jesus masturbated. I mean, how could he not, he must have been stressed all the time.

the common misconception is that both of his hands were nailed to the cross.

maestro8
2009-04-10, 05:19 PM
Prince gets off (http://video.aol.com/video-detail/prince-get-off/3190793583) (music video)

dudewithasock
2009-04-10, 05:19 PM
I wonder if he used the stigmata to his advantage... :eek:

peleschramm
2009-04-10, 05:49 PM
Wait, it is said that Jesus died as a virgin, am I right?

Goats_On_Unicycles
2009-04-10, 06:04 PM
poor guy...

BillyTheMountain
2009-04-10, 06:08 PM
Wait, it is said that Jesus died as a virgin, am I right?

I do not think it says that anywhere.

Many Biblical passages suggest he was better endowed than many of the Jewish boys of his day.

And he was one of the few Jewish men who hung with women and prostitutes.

Phil_on_uni
2009-04-10, 06:27 PM
I do not think it says that anywhere.

Many Biblical passages suggest he was better endowed than many of the Jewish boys of his day.

And he was one of the few Jewish men who hung with women and prostitutes.

ya?
so do i, and i aint getting any action ;)

BillyTheMountain
2009-04-10, 06:34 PM
ya?
so do i, and i aint getting any action ;)

Really?!

Does you mother know you hang out with prostitutes?!!

I recommend you find a better crowd to associate with.

Go to college!

Billy

peleschramm
2009-04-10, 06:40 PM
Dear Phil,

Don't worry about losing your virginity so much. You are a cool guy and you do not need to lose your virginity to be cool. Don't let it bother you so much.

Love,
Pele

BillyTheMountain
2009-04-10, 07:29 PM
dear phil,

don't worry about losing your virginity so much. You are a cool guy and you do not need to lose your virginity to be cool. Don't let it bother you so much.

Love,
pele

+1

wickedbob
2009-04-10, 10:01 PM
Lame. -3, so +1 for loosing it NOW.

Phil_on_uni
2009-04-10, 10:19 PM
Really?!

Does you mother know you hang out with prostitutes?!!

I recommend you find a better crowd to associate with.

Go to college!

Billy
My mom just wonders why i havent gotten laid yet ;)

Dear Phil,

Don't worry about losing your virginity so much. You are a cool guy and you do not need to lose your virginity to be cool. Don't let it bother you so much.

Love,
Pele

Its fine Pele... i dont really car about it that much
:D

Jeremy R
2009-04-10, 10:30 PM
My mom just wonders why i havent gotten laid yet ;)



Its fine Pele... i dont really car about it that much
:D
Its your wedding night! Get freaky dieky!

Phil_on_uni
2009-04-10, 10:35 PM
amen to that...

BillyTheMountain
2009-04-11, 12:38 AM
Everybody who gave up masturbation for Lent, have a REALLY HAPPY EASTER!

unibikeling
2009-04-11, 12:45 AM
Everybody who gave up masturbation for Lent, have a REALLY HAPPY EASTER!

lol..

habbywall
2009-04-11, 12:53 AM
I have yet to get any action, but I tend to think I hang with a good crowd and indeed am a college student. ):

iAmVincent
2009-04-11, 01:28 AM
Who the hell rides a unicycle and expects to get any action?

Phil_on_uni
2009-04-11, 06:12 AM
Who the hell rides a unicycle and expects to get any action?

apparently you aren't riding the same way that I am....


with style.... :cool:

dan de man
2009-04-11, 08:14 AM
pretty much every teenage male unicycle rider

BillyTheMountain
2009-04-11, 11:35 AM
I have yet to get any action, but I tend to think I hang with a good crowd and indeed am a college student. ):

ANY action?! Cop a feel while kissing?

Mikefule
2009-04-11, 12:26 PM
Isn't it about time this thread was pulled?

UniBrier
2009-04-11, 12:33 PM
Isn't it about time this thread was pulled?I agree. With any stroke of luck, this thing will get yanked.


I view m... as prayerI have a feeling the only thing you're praying for is that no one walks in while you're having your religious experience.

BillyTheMountain
2009-04-11, 01:53 PM
Isn't it about time this thread was pulled?

QUOTE=UniBrier;1221124]I agree. With any stroke of luck, this thing will get yanked.


I have a feeling the only thing you're praying for is that no one walks in while you're having your religious experience.[/QUOTE]
:D:D:D:D:D:

Unitik908
2009-04-11, 05:51 PM
you know guys in John 6:13 It clearly states,

"Those who do unto themselves whats meant for others to do unto you, will irreparably tarnish his soul in the face of god."

So you see guys, the good lord doesn't want this thread to exist, how dare all of you hethen monsters for even contributing.

Chase

Unitik908
2009-04-11, 05:59 PM
the common misconception is that both of his hands were nailed to the cross.


I wonder if he used the stigmata to his advantage... :eek:

thank both of you guys, these are the best quotes i've ever seen on any online unicycling forum.

Chase

Jeremy R
2009-04-11, 06:00 PM
Wait for it..... wait for it..... ahhh.....................



thank both of you guys, these are the best quotes i've ever seen on any online unicycling forum.

Chase

A whole 'nuther Passion of the Christ.

MrBoogiejuice
2009-04-11, 08:31 PM
If you're not careful you'll all get hairy psalms.

wickedbob
2009-04-13, 05:29 AM
I agree. With any stroke of luck, this thing will get yanked.


I have a feeling the only thing you're praying for is that no one walks in while you're having your religious experience.

Cerimonies are public, all are welcome. I've nothing to be ashamed of.

You guys are so punny, I meant funny. 'ahhhh har har har'

JJuggle
2009-04-14, 11:57 AM
The web comic, Questionable Content (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1379) has been on topic for the past few days.

BillyTheMountain
2009-04-15, 03:51 AM
the movie Irena Palm!!

dan de man
2009-04-15, 05:57 AM
Isn't it about time this thread was pulled?

Gilby would only pull it if it made him feel better

Phil_on_uni
2009-04-15, 05:58 AM
*fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap*

Jordan
2009-04-16, 10:30 PM
ya but they are like cockroaches... you turn on the light and.....um........
..............

they aren't masturbating anymore......

........
........

ya


Best thing I have ever heard.

skrobo
2009-04-17, 12:29 AM
this thread is utterly disgusting.
you guys are screwed up.

Rezinha
2009-04-17, 03:06 AM
this thread is utterly disgusting.
you guys are screwed up.

Why? Masturbation it's like breathing!

catinabag1
2009-04-17, 03:10 AM
the average person breathes ten times a minute. that's one manly dude if he can pull that off!!! :D

Rezinha
2009-04-17, 03:59 AM
the average person breathes ten times a minute. that's one manly dude if he can pull that off!!! :D

Hahaha no, I meant that it's natural and necessary and part of the human being.

Goats_On_Unicycles
2009-04-17, 04:03 AM
I took Skrobo off of my ignore list because his posts are always so funny that I can't bear not reading them.

skrobo
2009-04-17, 04:50 AM
Why? Masturbation it's like breathing!
its not the discussion of masturbation that i'm talking about, i don't particularly agree with it in this place where younger kids are... but i probably would not have said anything if the following comments weren't included...

Jesus masturbated. I mean, how could he not, he must have been stressed all the time.

the common misconception is that both of his hands were nailed to the cross.

If you're not careful you'll all get hairy psalms

I wonder if he used the stigmata to his advantage...

if any of those things were said while the person was in reach, i would have definitely punched them in the face.

mscalisi
2009-04-17, 05:58 AM
You do get how seriously hypocritical that is don't you? I mean, advocating violence is fine in a place where youngsters might be, but God forbid anyone talk about masturbation??!!

I think one of the purposes of a thread like this is to annoy people who use this forum as a space to preach. By finally chiming in and expressing your contempt (and threatening violence to boot!) you've provided a sense of satisfaction and amusement.


its not the discussion of masturbation that i'm talking about, i don't particularly agree with it in this place where younger kids are... but i probably would not have said anything if the following comments weren't included...









if any of those things were said while the person was in reach, i would have definitely punched them in the face.

skrobo
2009-04-17, 06:28 AM
You do get how seriously hypocritical that is don't you? I mean, advocating violence is fine in a place where youngsters might be, but God forbid anyone talk about masturbation??!!

I think one of the purposes of a thread like this is to annoy people who use this forum as a space to preach. By finally chiming in and expressing your contempt (and threatening violence to boot!) you've provided a sense of satisfaction and amusement.

like I said before, talk about masturbation, but don't bring God into it...
I definitely understand that it is hypocritical to say that, but i'm not taking back what i said.

unicycledood
2009-04-17, 07:25 AM
if any of those things were said while the person was in reach, i would have definitely punched them in the face.

Fair enough dude, very fair.

I still laughed though.

BillyTheMountain
2009-04-17, 02:43 PM
Why? Masturbation it's like breathing!

Riigghht!

You can only hold your breath so long, and you can only go so long without M

Or do mean you can't live without doing it, like breathing?

Rezinha
2009-04-17, 04:27 PM
Riigghht!

You can only hold your breath so long, and you can only go so long without M

Or do mean you can't live without doing it, like breathing?

Hm... let me think.
I think it's option A but I feel that option B is kinda right too.

MrBoogiejuice
2009-04-17, 05:46 PM
if any of those things were said while the person was in reach, i would have definitely punched them in the face.

Priceless...

Anyway, the Bibble's full of stuff to get the pulse racing and the wrist a-twitchin' so why the violent 'tude?

Sounds like you need to vent a little frustration...

Let me suggest some verses for you.

Ezekiel 23:19

Matthew 15:11

Have fun!

Oh and by the way, I've been told that if you sit on your hand for a while before reading the Bible it feels like someone else is holding it.

maestro8
2009-04-17, 05:51 PM
if any of those things were said while the person was in reach, i would have definitely punched them in the face.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i288/The_Game21/E-thug2.jpg

Phil_on_uni
2009-04-17, 05:53 PM
this thread is utterly disgusting.
you guys are screwed up.

maybe we are totally normal and you are a prude...
but i mean that in the most non controversial way possible

the average person breathes ten times a minute. that's one manly dude if he can pull that off!!! :D

your MOM PULLED IT OFF LAST NIGHT!!!! OH YA!



turn the other cheek skrobo

dudewithasock
2009-04-17, 06:36 PM
Oh and by the way, I've been told that if you sit on your hand for a while before reading the Bible it feels like someone else is holding it.

Omfg, thread = won

brittanytaylor
2009-04-18, 01:48 AM
.

unicycledood
2009-04-18, 07:47 AM
You guys are wankers (lol).

Skrobo has beliefs that hes standing up for, I've got beliefs just like I'm sure you all do and if anyone jizzed all over them like you guys are doing to Skrobos, I'd definitely welcome you to my jizz covered knuckles aswell.

Awwwwwww yeah, I'm joining the E-Thug group.

BillyTheMountain
2009-04-18, 03:32 PM
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dan de man
2009-04-20, 01:38 AM
Priceless...

Anyway, the Bibble's full of stuff to get the pulse racing and the wrist a-twitchin' so why the violent 'tude?

Sounds like you need to vent a little frustration...

Let me suggest some verses for you.

Ezekiel 23:19

Matthew 15:11

Have fun!

Oh and by the way, I've been told that if you sit on your hand for a while before reading the Bible it feels like someone else is holding it.

fav bible verses now

GILD
2009-04-21, 01:42 PM
if any of those things were said while the person was in reach, i would have definitely punched them in the face.

..and then ask them to turn the other cheek?

brendan
2009-04-21, 03:43 PM
like I said before, talk about masturbation, but don't bring God into it...
I definitely understand that it is hypocritical to say that, but i'm not taking back what i said.

oh no did we upset the poor sensitive american? Sue me.

dudewithasock
2009-04-21, 06:58 PM
oh no did we upset the poor sensitive american? Sue me.

Well, that is the American way. Don't tempt us! :p

onewheelburnout
2009-04-25, 08:43 PM
Well this is a deffinitely the best thread ever. haha and really its not that big an issue and we all need to lighten up about the whole god thing... i mean, everyone has different beliefs, and you cant really expect that everyone is going to agree with everyone else. Plus, you cant get mad at other people for criticizing, because people naturallly just do that... just like they masturbate.. so there.

mr.UNIversal
2009-05-07, 06:34 AM
turns out ....

you know guys in John 6:13 It clearly states,

"Those who do unto themselves whats meant for others to do unto you, will irreparably tarnish his soul in the face of god."


if soooo then i am f****d if my soul was white when i was born then i would now not have a soul i jack off constantly and btw if u ride a unicycle and not get any action then theres something wrong i feel like the worlds sexiest man

GILD
2009-05-07, 06:37 AM
Then, when you turn seventeen...

pdc
2009-05-07, 08:54 PM
oh no did we upset the poor sensitive american? Sue me.


Careful dude.

Don't you remember George Bush?

Mikefule
2009-05-08, 08:22 PM
Careful dude.

Don't you remember George Bush?


It's because I can barely remember bush that I have to...;)

maestro8
2009-05-09, 01:25 AM
It's because I can barely remember bush that I have to...;)

I can barely remember bush myself.

It's worth the $20/mo to send the missus to the aesthetician.

Mikefule
2009-05-09, 04:14 AM
aesthetician.

I think my ex used to get the same area treated by the anaesthetist. Is that the same?;)

maestro8
2009-05-10, 07:37 PM
I think my ex used to get the same area treated by the anaesthetist. Is that the same?;)

Either way it gets num-num-numed...

mr_charm
2009-05-11, 03:20 PM
http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/8058/31910265631186276639955zj8.jpg

unicycler100
2009-06-08, 10:47 PM
umm umm yea i'm bord and remebered this soo yea lol:D

BillyTheMountain
2010-09-24, 09:04 PM
It's Masturbate to Christine O'Donnell Day:

Christine O'Donnell is the Tea Party wacko who won the Republican nomination for the US Senate seat in Delaware. She was endorsed by Sarah Palin, viciously gay-baited her straight primary opponent, and opposes masturbation because it makes baby Jesus cry. (from Dan Savage)

reprah
2010-09-24, 09:19 PM
It's Masturbate to Christine O'Donnell Day:

Christine O'Donnell is the Tea Party wacko who won the Republican nomination for the US Senate seat in Delaware. She was endorsed by Sarah Palin, viciously gay-baited her straight primary opponent, and opposes masturbation because it makes baby Jesus cry. (from Dan Savage)

Billy's cute when he's angry.

unireed
2010-09-24, 10:26 PM
ive never heard of this thread...thought it could be...entertaining? lol

JJuggle
2010-09-24, 10:32 PM
Did anyone here attend the Million Masturbator March (http://www.borowitzreport.com/2010/09/17/delaware-masturbators-march-against-odonnell/)?

BillyTheMountain
2010-09-28, 02:45 AM
Did anyone here attend the Million Masturbator March (http://www.borowitzreport.com/2010/09/17/delaware-masturbators-march-against-odonnell/)?

Sorry I missed it!

How was it?

unireed
2010-09-28, 05:11 AM
snl did a joke about christine odonnells "hard" stance on mastrubation

maestro8
2010-09-30, 08:09 PM
...

BillyTheMountain
2013-07-05, 02:24 PM
Rep. Trent Franks (R-AZ) reviving the Todd Akin “legitimate rape” argument, but now one of Franks’ Republican colleagues may have gone even further to defend the 20-week abortion ban making its way through the House. During a House Rules Committee debate on the bill, Rep. Michael Burgess (R-TX) said he’s seen 15-week-old male fetuses with their hand “between their legs” pleasuring themselves, so, he asked, why shouldn’t we think they also “feel pain?”

“This is a subject I do know something about,” Burgess, a former OB/GYN who said he’s delivered “thousands of babies,” began. “There is no question in my mind that a baby at 20-weeks after conception can feel pain.” He has argued that the limit of 20 weeks on Congressman Franks’ bill is “far too late” and believes it should come down to 15 or 16 weeks.

“You watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” he continued. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. I mean, they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain?”

“Sometimes we have to give voice to the voiceless,” Burgess concluded. “And this is one of those times.”