How Many 5 Year Olds Can You Take On? [Archive]

mcnuggets300

2007-08-14, 10:07 AM

man this topic brings on a mental picture of a lone guy, in ripped and torn grey clothes, standing on a hilltop
and surrounding the hill are thousands, upon thousands of 5 year olds, all baring their teeth and each division led by a captain who carrys a red, frayed and ripped, flag
and then, all at once they charge
as you can see ive put much thought to this topic:)

skianduniaddict

2007-08-14, 02:15 PM

in a pillow polo stick fight 30 or 40

Joe2005

2007-08-14, 02:25 PM

Can I have a tank?

But probably about 10.

johnfoss

2007-08-14, 04:57 PM

Reminds me of a question we used to ask when doing shows in elementary schools:

"How many kindergartners does it take to pick up one juggling ball?"

(Scenario: Usually the smallest kids sit in the front. Sometimes a juggling ball gets away, and falls off the stage!)

The answer? All of them. It looks like a Wizard of Oz version of a shoe sale.

So, back to the original question. Do the kids have scissors?

CKCrowe

2007-08-14, 04:59 PM

I shall not fight my own kind....

Det-riot

2007-08-14, 05:01 PM

I shall not fight my own kind....
we are talking about actual age not mental age, sorry MR Crowe.

zfreak220

2007-08-14, 05:08 PM

we are talking about actual age not mental age, sorry MR Crowe.
hahaha...nice.

Joe2005

2007-08-14, 05:47 PM

we are talking about actual age not mental age, sorry MR Crowe.
:cool: BURN!!! :cool:

maestro8

2007-08-14, 06:04 PM

Simple. Just hand out Kool-Aid with your favorite poison in the mix. No 5 year old will turn down Kool-Aid.

Wait... are they rabid? That's a different story, then.

beeper

2007-08-14, 06:28 PM

all at once, i would say probably somewhere inbetween 50 and 80.

it would be much easier if they were a bunch of obese children though. they would die running before they would be able to even get to me!

if i had a wooden spoon, those demons would be running for their mommies and covering their bottoms. ;D

Keldridge

2007-08-15, 12:00 AM

Hrmmm... if I am my nice don't want to hurt the kids self... probably 12 or so...

If I don't care about the safety of the kids or anything... then tons... hundreds easily... thousands probably... I would probably only be limited by running out of energy...

A more interesting proposal is how many 10 year olds...

Keld

CKCrowe

2007-08-15, 12:03 AM

:cool: :confused: Idk about 5 year olds, but I could take on Det-riot, zfreak220, and Joe2005 anyday.:eek: :cool:

Joe2005

2007-08-15, 12:30 AM

:cool: :confused: Idk about 5 year olds, but I could take on Det-riot, zfreak220, and Joe2005 anyday.:eek: :cool:
Bring it on punk! ;)

dan de man

2007-08-15, 12:52 AM

THIS IS DAYCARE!!! *kicks kid into a timeout area*

mafiamike

2007-08-15, 01:41 AM

See video.

http://www.break.com/rushhour3/man-vs-kids-karate-war.html

Narniacat

2007-08-15, 01:46 AM

Probably 1 and maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe 2. 5 year olds are vicious soulless creatures who will show no mercy. Plus they are usually really cute which makes it harder for me to full on attack them. They are diabolical!

~Claire

CKCrowe

2007-08-15, 02:02 AM

THIS IS DAYCARE!!! *kicks kid into a timeout area*
ouch, so how long is Joe2005 in timeout?:cool:
(im not aloud to hit girls):rolleyes:
Punk=A male prostitute
wow, this is a family forum I thought......:)

Det-riot

2007-08-15, 04:55 AM

:cool: :confused: Idk about 5 year olds, but I could take out Det-riot,
aww im glad you like me. I like long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners if it helps;)

mafiamike

2007-08-15, 05:34 AM

Seriously, watch that video.

unifreak7

2007-08-15, 06:16 AM

Male or Female?

-Shaun Johanneson

torkerdx

2007-08-15, 06:47 AM

aww im glad you like me. I like long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners if it helps;)
but the question is does ckcrowe like koxx riders?

this is such a stupid thread. yet really funny

mcnuggets300

2007-08-15, 08:15 AM

im assuming these arent your run of teh mill 5 year olds, bloodthirsty and vicious. who dont care how many of their comrades fall.
in which case, me being about 3 feet taller than tehm, just go stomping

Triball

2007-08-15, 01:32 PM

Damn you unicyclists. I can barely get some pallets and whatnots for hopping. But where am I going to get 5 year olds to practice? I quit:mad:

zfreak220

2007-08-15, 01:34 PM

Male or Female?

-Shaun Johanneson
yes

monkeyman

2007-08-15, 03:31 PM

THIS IS DAYCARE!!! *kicks kid into a timeout area*

Bahaha :D Well played.

The UniSLAB

2007-08-15, 05:04 PM

Haha what an awesome question. I think a lot of you fail to realize how much energy 5 year olds have. You can't just hurt them and move on to the next one, it would have to be one punch one kill type scenario.

But given the right oppurtunity I would say all of them. After I got tired I would just start stepping on all of them and sort of just be running on a sidewalk of little kid heads.

Although If all else failed, I would just resort to my moshpit tactics and just start going crazy. Throughing windmills and butterfly kicks everywhich direction....I don't even want to begin to picture the destruction.

Ok, so I am reading reddit, and a very interesting topic sprouts up. It's quite funny to read. I am curious as to people's answers on here.

How many 5 year olds can you take on?

brendan

2007-08-15, 05:10 PM

uhm... depends if i have my unicycle - a simple swipe with my bear trap pedals should take 2-3 out... if i just do continuous spins i think i can get 5 per rotation and i think i can do 1 rotation every 2 second (you have to slow down if u want to keep getting them) so at 30rpm i can get 5*30 so 180 5yr olds per minute!!! WOW keep ehm coming baby!

dudewithasock

2007-08-15, 05:11 PM

See video.

http://www.break.com/rushhour3/man-vs-kids-karate-war.html

Hahahaha. "Fighting is bad!" *kicked in the head*

Keldridge

2007-08-15, 11:44 PM

puresyn

2007-08-16, 04:23 AM

Actually... my style would be to use the kids as weapons... I can throw a 5 year old several feet and take out 5 or so more... I can throw / push / kick / whatever one into several others... I can use the unconscious ones as barriers and only have to fight from a single direction after a while..

If I could wear my leg armor... it would help that much more... I think the only way they could really inflict pain is biting my legs... Maybe punching / headbutting my crotch... /shrug

Keld

Yes, that was posted on the reddit as well. But picking up 40lbs or 20 kilos will make you extremely tired.

You get no protection as far as armor.

Heres more food for thought for everyone. LUCK IS A HUGE FACTOR. What if you get poked in the eye or rammed in the ding dong early on?

I've even read one guy say that he would rip the arms off one of the kids and use it as a weapon. But by the time you do that, they have already dog piled you.

Even if you were in the open and ran and fought each of them separately, it wouldn't help because you are surrounded. They would latch on to your legs like glue and slow you down until the dog pile of death comes for you.

I have twin nephews that are 5 and their little brother thats 4. I've seen the three of them gang up on a bigger kid. They hold the big kids arms and legs down and start stomping on his wiener. They learned that from their uncle Sean of course.

Now, provided these 5 year olds weren't trained by the Ancient Art of War Sean (and just by coincidence, their mother was founder of the Kendo Club at University of Tokyo) ... how many do you think you can handle until the dog pile comes?

All those little feet stomping on you.

The UniSLAB

2007-08-16, 05:15 AM

Dude I don't care what you say I am not going to go out by being beaten by a bunch of 5 year olds, thats just not going to happen. I would just be like "What the hell there a bunch a 5 yr olds, Arrggghhh", then I would just pretty much kill them all.

I'm telling you guys the windmill will not let you down, add to that a bunch of random kicks and you have yourself one deadly and unpredictable combination.

Yes, that was posted on the reddit as well. But picking up 40lbs or 20 kilos will make you extremely tired.

You get no protection as far as armor.

Heres more food for thought for everyone. LUCK IS A HUGE FACTOR. What if you get poked in the eye or rammed in the ding dong early on?

I've even read one guy say that he would rip the arms off one of the kids and use it as a weapon. But by the time you do that, they have already dog piled you.

Even if you were in the open and ran and fought each of them separately, it wouldn't help because you are surrounded. They would latch on to your legs like glue and slow you down until the dog pile of death comes for you.

I have twin nephews that are 5 and their little brother thats 4. I've seen the three of them gang up on a bigger kid. They hold the big kids arms and legs down and start stomping on his wiener. They learned that from their uncle Sean of course.

Now, provided these 5 year olds weren't trained by the Ancient Art of War Sean (and just by coincidence, their mother was founder of the Kendo Club at University of Tokyo) ... how many do you think you can handle until the dog pile comes?

All those little feet stomping on you.

dan de man

2007-08-16, 08:09 AM

i could probably do 20 then i would be tired

DustinSchaap

2007-08-16, 09:15 AM

why would you kill the 5 yr olds? there's so much more fun things you can do with them :rolleyes:

Hazmat

2007-08-16, 11:46 AM

Well if i had my modded coker back. I'd have my share of fun with them. By running them over with it if they insult my grandma. ;)

Joe2005

2007-08-16, 01:55 PM

Why is this still going I mean I have a TANK for goodness sake!!! I win.

The UniSLAB

2007-08-16, 02:18 PM

Why is this still going I mean I have a TANK for goodness sake!!! I win.

Hahah good stuff

dudewithasock

2007-08-16, 02:50 PM

why would you kill the 5 yr olds? there's so much more fun things you can do with them :rolleyes:

http://socialitelife.com/images/michael_jackson_052407_02.jpg

Joe2005

2007-08-16, 03:02 PM

:eek:

brendan

2007-08-16, 03:08 PM

why would you kill the 5 yr olds? there's so much more fun things you can do with them :rolleyes:

dustin... only you could say that.

And one of them would touch ur knee and u'd freak out and probably faint :P

_Ground_Zero_

2007-08-17, 03:42 AM

do they have rifles? better yet, do I have a rifle?

kerosian

2007-08-17, 05:08 AM

why would you kill the 5 yr olds? there's so much more fun things you can do with them :rolleyes:
sigged, hehehe. :p

thejdw

2007-08-17, 08:37 PM

:cool: :confused: Idk about 5 year olds, but I could take on Det-riot, zfreak220, and Joe2005 anyday.:eek: :cool:
nah just sneek in a sharp comback ;)

thejdw

2007-08-17, 08:40 PM

http://socialitelife.com/images/michael_jackson_052407_02.jpg
hahahaha :p

surndr

2008-03-29, 12:23 AM

tons, i would make hot chocolate with milk on the stove and they would naturally fall asleep after like five glasses. i had a friend that did this to some rotten kids he was watching the knocked off around the fourth glass

vanpaun

2008-03-29, 01:50 AM

theSCO

2008-03-29, 02:42 AM

are they radioactive, perchance?

dan de man

2008-03-29, 03:25 AM

can i have a highpower water cannon?

unibikeling

2008-03-29, 03:35 AM

Hmm.. Lets say i own a McDonalds... And all these 5 year olds were fat. I bet i could easily do around 5 million, depends on how fast the service is. All the children would beg for mcdonalds, then i would feed them, then they would fall asleep. Then i shall burry the mcDonalds

Into the blue

2008-03-30, 08:25 PM

20.
But I have dubious morals.

http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/

Also, I have a 50% chance of surviving a zombie holocaust.

1-wheeled-grape

2008-03-30, 09:04 PM

it said 17 for me but it lies, i could attack loads and loads, untill they regret starting the fight. i hate little kids theyre so annoying!!!!!

gkmac

2008-03-30, 09:12 PM

Don't know until I'm provoked to try. I know I can take on at least one, because I've done it.

Jerrick

2008-03-30, 09:19 PM

I scored 29. Im viscous.

unibikeling

2008-03-30, 10:48 PM

Diz meni!

http://www.whiskersandpurrs.com/images/caturday_2.jpg

vanpaun

2008-03-31, 12:56 AM

i got 23 but i have a little more than a litlle, and less than a few years in martial arts. dont forget guys, their arent any health packs

edit: the best possible is dun dun dun!
39

Det-riot

2008-03-31, 02:47 AM

i got 28

Ducttape

2008-03-31, 03:59 AM

Ok, so I am reading reddit, and a very interesting topic sprouts up. It's quite funny to read. I am curious as to people's answers on here.

How many 5 year olds can you take on?
can't tell you that but I can tell you I can take on about 250 7-11 year olds before I can't take it... been doing it for the last 3 years as a camp counselor fun stuff!! they can get pretty dang heavy if they dog pile you though.

EDIT saw the thingy Sean posted and I beat Jerrick by 1 kid I can take 30

redlig

2008-03-31, 02:20 PM

i can take on 36 with the test

ivan

2008-03-31, 06:15 PM

Don't know until I'm provoked to try. I know I can take on at least one, because I've done it.
Wait, are you saying that you hit a five-year old in the face with a metal pinned pedal? Because he threw a ball at you?

I really hope you're joking. I'm very worried, because I've never seen you joke before, though.

tobbogonist

2008-03-31, 07:35 PM

This summer some friends and i were at a the local watering hole (swimming not drinking) where they had recently installed a pool, there was kids everywhere. i was standing at the edge of the pool and some young boys asked if they could push me in. I agreed, already with a plan forming in my mind. Two young boys came charging at me, to busy to notice the shifting of my weight from my front to the back foot, what followed was amazing. I held my ground at the side of the pool whilst being pummeled with what seemed like millions of five year olds. All i had to do was lean to one side, lift the closest running child and flip him into the pool. They where loving it, there parents weren't. I am not allowed back there this year.

gkmac

2008-03-31, 09:37 PM

Wait, are you saying that you hit a five-year old in the face with a metal pinned pedal? Because he caused a dangerous high-speed crash on your Schlumpf?Fixed.

Besides, at least it was in defence unlike this case.

ivan

2008-04-01, 07:10 AM

Fixed.

Besides, at least it was in defence unlike this case.
I'll take that as you did hit him after all. That's just plain terrible.

I like it how you remember things I did better than I do. Well, for the record, that was a joke thread. When I said that I assaulted a 14-year old it means I punched him on the shoulder(or something similar) on the way back from school. We used to do that to each other all the time, it was our way from home kinda game. The little girl(about 12) was in the same car, if I remember correctly, also participating in the game. They probably did more damage to me than I did to them, they don't have to take it easy on me, because I'm older.

Which brings me straight to the point: you just can't go and physically hurt a child because he did something stupid and dangerous, even if it put your life at risk. Do you think a five year old can assess all the risk involved in a high-speed Schlump UPD? Do you think he meant to hurt you? And more importantly, even if you think he meant to hurt you, how will hurting him help anything? You could've had a very strict talk with him, you could've taken him to his parents or even a police station, if you really felt it was neccessary.

Learn to forgive, dude.

Edit: oh shit, how come this thread has gone from destroying five-year olds to learning to forgive them?

gkmac

2008-04-01, 08:52 AM

Before I respond, you ought to know that my actions are not something that I'm proud about. It was the first time in at least a decade since I was provoked into a self-defence reaction.I'll take that as you did hit him after all. That's just plain terrible.He made me crash my Schlumpf at high speed rather dangerously. That's just plain terrible.you just can't go and physically hurt a child because he did something stupid and dangerous, even if it put your life at risk.When I was a toddler, me and others got physically hurt by parents whenever we did something stupid and/or dangerous. What's the difference?

Various family members and friends I've talked to reckoned that they would have done the same thing.Do you think a five year old can assess all the risk involved in a high-speed Schlump UPD? Do you think he meant to hurt you?When he started laughing at me when I came down? I call that a big "yes".And more importantly, even if you think he meant to hurt you, how will hurting him help anything?To give him a taste of his own medicine, and to make him think twice before attempting something like that again.you could've taken him to his parentsHis parents were nowhere to be seen in the vicinity.

ivan

2008-04-01, 11:53 AM

I don't think that's called self-defense, man. Sounds more like revenge. When you say someone is "provoked" to do something, to me it sounds like they wanna do it, and are just looking for an excuse so that they can do it and say "I had to".

I'm sorry to hear your parents hit you. Was it just your parents or random strangers too? When they "physically hurt" you, as you say, did they do any permanent damage to your body? Because I think a hit in the face with a metal pedal of a heavy Schlump unicycle can do a lot of harm to anyone. And can kill a five-year old. Personally, I'd rather go for a high-speed unicycle dismount than a hit in the face with a heavy piece of metal.

Again, about laughter and risk assessment. A five-year old might not realise that a high speed UPD can cause a lot of pain and potential harm to the rider. He might've been laughing because it looked funny. Most people laugh when they see funny stuff, not when they see someone in pain. I'm not saying that he was right in making you UPD, of course not. But he was just probably being a stupid dumbass, and not a maniac with a murderous intent.

Tell me, what happened after you hit him in the face? Was he bleeding? Did you knock him out? Break his nose? Also, by your assessment, around what age was he?