World's worst chatter upper

[Mikefule]

I went to the gym this evening for a sauna and swim. As is so often the case, the swimming pool and sauna area were full of studenty types, many of whom are from abroad - Nottingham has two universities.

I went into the sauna with my book and sat down quietly opposite a slim and pretty young girl of Chinese appearance. A man came in and sat down next to me and, after considering his opening gambits for a few seconds, tried,
"Are you French?"

The young girl pondered this question for all of two seconds before replying, with some asperity, "Do I look French?"

In a hole, but still digging, the man ventured, "I heard your accent earlier..."

Chinese girl raised her eyebrows and snapped, "French! No, I'm Chinese, look," pointed to her eyes, then got up and walked out.

It was all I could do to restrain myself from saying, "Bonsoir, mademoiselle," as she left.

It had been a rare privilege to watch a master of the art of seduction at work. Pity it was his day off.

[tobbogonist]

Mike, how could you. From what i have read on this forum, a man of your knowledge, vocabulary and writing skills should have chipped in to help our fellow man (you come across as one you could sweet talk a lemon), not just let him die then sneak off and post about him on the internet.

where are our morals going ?

[monkeyman]

It was all I could do to restrain myself from saying, "Bonsoir, mademoiselle," as she left.

:D :D :D

[gkmac]

I knew a teacher who was Chinese in appearance, even had a Chinese sounding name. She taught French.

In fact she was more qualified for the role than you thought, since apparently that French was her first (or amongst her first) language. Perfect fluency, and a French accent when she spoke English.

She did say that she grew up in France.

[mawesome]

You should've said.

"No, she's not french...but I am..."
And slowly inch towards him suggestively.

[dudewithasock]

He's a smoother talker than I am, at least.

[mawesome]

Yeah, at least he didn't open with "Hey, you's gots some o' them lady breastses dontcha?!"

[tobbogonist]

He's a smoother talker than I am, at least.

oh dear

[dan de man]

i think he would have gotten a better response if he had done that :rolleyes:

[iridemymuni]

well it was better than saying "your asian, right? do you speak english des ka?"

[JJtheunicycle]

Yeah, at least he didn't open with "Hey, you's gots some o' them lady breastses dontcha?!"
hahahahahahahahahahaha

[Borges]

Had it been me back in th' day I'd have taken a bit more time think about what to say. I would have come up with something a few hours after she left. :(

[mawesome]

I would have come up with something a few hours after she left. :(

..and then hire a P.I. to track her down just so you could use it?






Yeah, me neither...

[johnhimsworth]

Mike, how could you. From what i have read on this forum, a man of your knowledge, vocabulary and writing skills should have chipped in......with "bonsoir, mademoiselle" as she left. I think he would have appreciated it really. Restraint is overrated at times.

[GILD]

I went into the sauna with my book
And you're not married yet?
There's no justice in this world.

[iridemymuni]

And you're not married yet?
There's no justice in this world.



funniest thing. ever.

[maestro8]

World's worst chatter upper
We've got bus-loads of these types trolling the clubs and discos around the Bay Area.

I've been dating a Vietnamese girl for a while now and just as soon as she gets more than an arm-length away from me in a club I hear some drunk idiot stammering out yet another mindless come-on attempt:

"Chinese girls are hot!"
"Do you eat sushi?"
"Can you speak Japanese?"
"I love Asian people!"

It's amazing how much ignorance people can fit into five syllables. How appropriate is it to use someone's race as an icebreaker anyways?

I guess, being a rather nondescript Anglo-Saxon, I'm lucky to avoid such craptastic social situations.

[Mikefule]

And you're not married yet?
There's no justice in this world.

Been there done that. Never again.

Never had a book run off with all my money.

[tobbogonist]

yet children are led to believe that plates running off with cutlery is a perfectly normal.

[GILD]

Never had a book run off with all my money.
What are you reading at the moment?
yet children are led to believe that plates running off with cutlery is a perfectly normal.
Thanx for that.
I'll be chortling for the rest of the day.

[tobbogonist]

Thanx for that.
I'll be chortling for the rest of the day.

no problem :)
i thought it had gone unnoticed..

(thankingyou)