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  • fiery temper

    so I started about 4 months ago and I have made NO progress. I just recently broke my uni by smashing repeatedly on the ground and stomping it, so needless to say I have taken a break. I am not financially stable so this might be the end of this for me, but that is neither here nor there.

    my question is how people stand failure? in others I can just say "its okay, just keep trying" but I view my failure as unacceptable, to the point that I can't sleep until I succeed. even now, due to my lack of a uni, I hate myself for not being able to ride. I hate myself for not being able to control my darker side and destroying the one thing I own.

    many people say "if you hate to uni so much, why not quit?", to this I have only one response "I don't hate it, I hate myself for not being enough". I used to skateboard a long time ago, then I broke both my legs; it goes without saying that I was devastated, I had to quit and I almost gave up on life. for some dumb reason I didn't, and a year ago I found my solace in juggling. after years of darkness I found one thin sliver of light; even though juggling saved me, I still find myself falling into the same doubt and pain that has almost took my life so many times.

    I'm sure I seem like a butt-hurt self absorbed little bitch ranting uselessly at my computer, but damnit I try. I have a thousand times rolled failure off my shoulder and thrown myself back in the ring, but every time I do it gets harder to want to continue this madness. I watch videos with people saying "just do this and it'll happen" and I find it maddening to see children of 5 and 50 year olds doing something that I find impossible.

    /self-loathing rant

  • #2
    To preface this, you should probably go talk to a professional about this, or try and work on these things with a close friend or family member. Extreme anger really isn't that healthy for you, and while you may be finding ways to let it out, it's probably best to start looking for a solution.

    But! I didn't come here to not answer your question. To an extent I have had your problem, except with other things. Uni-cycling was very much so just a random thing that i started doing, and now absolutely adore. While some of the harder things I try and do leave me flustered, I just come back to it later, if it really comes down to it. Some people even use their anger to continue on, and try and work harder and harder. But that is more of a personality trait that you or I can't work on, and I kinda lucked out to have it work out for me in uni-cycling.

    The most important thing though is that you have fun, and if you have tried for four months to try and ride, and have gotten too frustrated then continue, then I say you should go try something else. At the very least, take a break (which I see you have), and come back to it when your mood is better, and you feel that you can get into it and not get angry again.

    I assure you though, if you get to the point where you come back, and find the will-power to continue trying, then you'll definitely feel probably the best in your life. To accomplish something that you have spent 4+ months trying to do, will definitely give yourself a huge boost in confidence, and perhaps a fire will be ignited to continue on, and you'll grow a passion for it.

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    • #3
      sweet disharmony

      Originally posted by CampinSam View Post
      To preface this, you should probably go talk to a professional about this, or try and work on these things with a close friend or family member. Extreme anger really isn't that healthy for you, and while you may be finding ways to let it out, it's probably best to start looking for a solution.

      But! I didn't come here to not answer your question. To an extent I have had your problem, except with other things. Uni-cycling was very much so just a random thing that i started doing, and now absolutely adore. While some of the harder things I try and do leave me flustered, I just come back to it later, if it really comes down to it. Some people even use their anger to continue on, and try and work harder and harder. But that is more of a personality trait that you or I can't work on, and I kinda lucked out to have it work out for me in uni-cycling.

      The most important thing though is that you have fun, and if you have tried for four months to try and ride, and have gotten too frustrated then continue, then I say you should go try something else. At the very least, take a break (which I see you have), and come back to it when your mood is better, and you feel that you can get into it and not get angry again.

      I assure you though, if you get to the point where you come back, and find the will-power to continue trying, then you'll definitely feel probably the best in your life. To accomplish something that you have spent 4+ months trying to do, will definitely give yourself a huge boost in confidence, and perhaps a fire will be ignited to continue on, and you'll grow a passion for it.
      big quote :3 . I believe I was misunderstood. so, starting at the top; the allopathic solution is to sell you drugs that make you stupid, but I didn't take the time to respond just to counterpoint you.

      I did, in a stroke of luck, get my torker fixed. I believe that if I reduce my practice time from 5-9 hours a day to only one or two, I will reduce the amount of stress significantly. I also have a local gym that I will be going to to help improve my physique and by doing so improve my vision of self worth. I'm going to beat this one wheeled beast, or die trying.

      I can be a bit melodramatic at times and I'm prone to ramble, but I feel my statements cannot be understood without proper context. after a point I just explode, everything "goes red" and I'm not really in control anymore. I've lost too many times in my life to want to let it happen again.

      after I lost my ability to skate and nearly lost my ability to walk, I used drugs heavily for years as I watched the ones I loved be destroyed by them. I was given a second chance, I'm still not sure I deserve to live anymore than them but I was the one who survived. because, for whatever reason, I lived and I now demand more from myself. I refuse to be the self-defeating broken coward I was; I'm still not perfect and I fall back into old patterns all the time, but I try every day to change.

      I just sort of decided one day that unicycle was cool and that I want to learn to ride; having never learned to ride a bike, this seemed like an insurmountable task. I watched every video on YouTube in the weeks it took to attain a unicycle, thinking it would help me understand. the first day I got my uni I spent all day clinging hopelessly to a fence, something I still do, and I finally collapsed at 2 in the morning. the next day I did the same, and every day that followed I pushed myself to the edge fruitlessly. after two weeks had past I began to grow tired of the lack of progress, bitter that others did it so effortlessly. I know the value of practice, I learned to juggle over course of a year and now I can make practiced performers look like bumbling fools. I learned to contact juggle, something I am proud of, and now I make it look as effortless as if I was born with it. I used to be, a pro level skateboarder before I broke both of my legs. I know that if I just keep at it I can do anything, and I cling to that; however, knowing something and living it are two separate matters.

      I believe I should reword my question; how do you respond to failure, and, how do you handle frustration?

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      • #4
        I like CampinSam's reply, but I could add one thing based on my experience. Everyone is different when it comes to learning. Some can hop on it and learn in an afternoon. I didn't feel like I was that person when I started a couple years ago. Therefore, I did about 5 to 10 minutes at a time a couple times a day. It probably took me a month to learn, but I was persistent with my short periods of learning.
        By doing that, I was developing the muscle memory that I needed to obtain the balance necessary riding. When you start back, you could try shorter periods. When I try too long at something and get upset, I find it is time to stop. Any further effort has just the opposite effect on learning the task.
        By the way, I am impressed with your juggling ability. I can do simple juggling but never progressed to anything else.
        Last edited by Sagitaur; 2012-12-22, 11:35 PM.

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        • #5
          I got to say, I think you're crazy as a shit house rat.
          I don't care about your drama in the littlest bit.
          Now if you have some interesting Uni news then share,
          other wise shut the hell up.
          Geeeez lighten up. life is good.

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          • #6
            jona, that reply very inappropriate and if you really felt that way just keep it to yourself

            anyway sometimes i have your problem but never with unicycling. when i was builing a dog kennel i got so angry i repeatedly smashed the hammer into the wood until it had holes in ii
            i think you should stop watching so many vids cos they make it look so easy and when you learn how hard it is you will feel like a failure. also dont practice the same trick for too long because you will lose concentration and get frustrated. i usually do 30 mins of unispin and then go back to something easier like learning to idle or just ride around the house for a little while. 9 hours of unicycling a day is waaay too much take breaks in between and watch some tv.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by jona View Post
              I got to say, I think you're crazy as a shit house rat.
              I don't care about your drama in the littlest bit.
              Now if you have some interesting Uni news then share,
              other wise shut the hell up.
              Geeeez lighten up. life is good.
              What the hell is up with you? keep it to yourself buddy
              My youtube channel:CANMOREUNIPRODUCTIONS

              Visit municycle.ca for all your unicycle needs

              Comment


              • #8
                don't feed the troll

                Originally posted by greenie View Post
                jona, that reply very inappropriate and if you really felt that way just keep it to yourself

                anyway sometimes i have your problem but never with unicycling. when i was builing a dog kennel i got so angry i repeatedly smashed the hammer into the wood until it had holes in ii
                i think you should stop watching so many vids cos they make it look so easy and when you learn how hard it is you will feel like a failure. also dont practice the same trick for too long because you will lose concentration and get frustrated. i usually do 30 mins of unispin and then go back to something easier like learning to idle or just ride around the house for a little while. 9 hours of unicycling a day is waaay too much take breaks in between and watch some tv.
                thank you for posting something relevant. :3

                I don't watch tv, and I don't play video games, so once I'm physically exhausted I watch youtube and do research. normally I stick to tutorials, but with unicycle I've found most tutorials useless and I've been forced to learn more or less on my own. I don't sleep the way most people do, and I find idle time unbearable so the only times I'm really happy is when I'm active. I do tend to loose sight of the time I've put forth in practicing all of my many "talents" (skills that require practice). I used to do 12 hour practice sessions when I skateboarded so 9 hours is like child's play.

                I have been seeing a lot of improvement by reducing my practice to only one hour at a time, a handful of times a day. today I went about 15 feet unassisted, much better than I've done so far; it almost inspires confidence.

                I've been compiling a list of things that I had to learn for myself, and sooner or later I'm going to do a video tutorial explaining the things that others have not. maybe I can make the learning process a little less frustrating for someone else.

                I handle my frustration by trying harder... it works most of the time...

                Comment


                • #9
                  almost missed this one.

                  Originally posted by Sagitaur View Post
                  I like CampinSam's reply, but I could add one thing based on my experience. Everyone is different when it comes to learning. Some can hop on it and learn in an afternoon. I didn't feel like I was that person when I started a couple years ago. Therefore, I did about 5 to 10 minutes at a time a couple times a day. It probably took me a month to learn, but I was persistent with my short periods of learning.
                  By doing that, I was developing the muscle memory that I needed to obtain the balance necessary riding. When you start back, you could try shorter periods. When I try too long at something and get upset, I find it is time to stop. Any further effort has just the opposite effect on learning the task.
                  By the way, I am impressed with your juggling ability. I can do simple juggling but never progressed to anything else.
                  awesome positive attitude, somewhere on the inside I hate you for it, but I know I'm not supposed to be like that. thank you for taking the time to actually read my post and responding with relevant content; also, thank you for the complement. I really do respect people who know when to take a break, I'm still working on it (hence this thread :3 ).

                  I have never had anything come easy for me, or more so, I've never done anything that came easy to me; I love a challenge and I love to overcome insurmountable odds, this commonly leads to me going overboard with practice and pushing myself too hard.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by acrylichaze View Post
                    I just sort of decided one day that unicycle was cool and that I want to learn to ride; having never learned to ride a bike, this seemed like an insurmountable task.

                    I believe I should reword my question; how do you respond to failure, and, how do you handle frustration?
                    Read your reply again and if you really cant ride a bike and you are trying to learn to ride the unicycle I think I found your problem.

                    but to answer this new question, I handle frustration by watching a movie, you say you dont like TV but trust me watching a comedy (friends, HIMYM) really makes you forget about stuff. But if you start feeling a LITTLE angry just STOP unicycling and go back inside. because when you are frustrated you tend to lose focus and it will just keep getting worse

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by greenie View Post
                      Read your reply again and if you really cant ride a bike and you are trying to learn to ride the unicycle I think I found your problem.
                      Though a bit unrelated, I barely EVER rode a bike before I started unicycling. I could ride on, but now I can barely ride on at all, so I don't think it is a prerequisite

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                      • #12
                        I am a very physically active person by nature, and when I take a new "project" on, I tend to think I need to become an expert at it. Mediocrity is for the masses.
                        I am currently training for my first full marathon. Yep, 26.2 miles of running fun. And for my first marathon, I'm not just content to finish. Oh no, I want to Boston Qualify! So that means I need to be better than 90% of the other runners out there in the marathon I will run, just to even sign up for Boston.
                        When I bought my uni, I didn't go for a cheap learner. Oh no, I was so confident that I would not just like it, but love it, and be good at it, that I went for a nearly 1G unicycle. And I learned to ride the thing in less than 4 hours of practice. By the end of a week, I was riding MILES.
                        While I don't have your anger, I do understand your drive. Sometimes we are simultainiously our greatest ally and our worst enemy.
                        I think what helps me is to focus on how the bad is what makes us triumph vs giving up. The darkness before the dawn. Use it to try that much harder, practice that much longer, not walk away and give up(or smash the uni!)
                        When it goes well, we are building our body and physical skill set. When it goes badly, we are building the metal toughness to preservere. Both are important keys to any success. Is failure really failure? No, actually it can be a great motivator!
                        I dunno if you need to talk to a professional or not. We all get angry sometimes.
                        yeah, I'm a girl.

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                        • #13
                          It's easy to get frustrated and I understand what it's like to have a slow learning curve compared to so many of the people on this forum who learned to ride so quickly. But my Nimbus 24 muni survived months of being tossed by the seat like a hammer throw (bought a new frame cause flying into my pickup truck too many times).. Long story short, it took me a long time to ride.. a really long time, but it was so worth it. I'm 51, living in the woods in northern Michigan, and the highlight of my day is usually trail riding (did 5 miles in the snow today). You obviously really want to ride, so keep trying. And take a break before you feel like curb stomping your uni.

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                          • #14
                            I would suggest that frustration is a matter of perspective. Expecting to ride like the very skilled folks in the videos is not the right perspective. Set a goal you know you can meet, like "I'm going to to three full revolutions leaning on the wall before I give up for the day". I had days where my goal was to fall off a certain number of times before I would pack it in for the day. I also noticed that often my best days come after I take a day or two off. You will get it eventually, it sure sounds like you are trying hard enough.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by MTUni View Post
                              I would suggest that frustration is a matter of perspective. Expecting to ride like the very skilled folks in the videos is not the right perspective. Set a goal you know you can meet, like "I'm going to to three full revolutions leaning on the wall before I give up for the day". I had days where my goal was to fall off a certain number of times before I would pack it in for the day. I also noticed that often my best days come after I take a day or two off. You will get it eventually, it sure sounds like you are trying hard enough.
                              That skilled folks gave me inspiration to start unicycling, so I purchased my first 26" MUni and learned how to ride, jumped over cheap one.

                              Spend 1 hour a day and try ride without walls and fence (especially inside the building like hallway) - start from curb (preferable near the wall to hold). That will be more than enough. My aim was to ride and free mount - got it in 2 weeks.

                              I have several years of MTB experience so may be it helped me.
                              Working at the oilfield 28x28 rota I can't ride every day so here is big vocation after every single month
                              Well balanced person
                              My Facebook page

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