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  • You know you are a unicyclist when.....

    You know you are a unicyclist when......

    *Any one of your unicycles is worth more than your car
    *You choose an apartment/flat solely on the basis of how close the trails are
    *You legs are tan only to mid-thigh
    *Your arm tan stops sharply at the wrist
    *You shins and calves are made up of scar tissue
    *The first thing you ask when you regain consciousness is "How's my unicyle?
    *You actually move farther from work so that the unicycle commute will be more heavy duty
    *Your work colleagues think of unicycles as a mainstream form of transport
    *You mentally log every meal as "good fuel" or "bad fuel"
    *You learn you have X money left after paying the bills and the first thing you do is log onto unicycle.com
    *Your car, computer, microwave, dishwasher and toilet cistern are all "powered by Unicycle.com"
    *You dream of winning the lottery, and the first thing you think of is how many/which unicycles can that money buy?
    *You can tell your significant other with a straight face that it's too hot to mow the lawn then take off on an epic MUni ride
    *You buy a car based on whether your Coker will fit in the back
    *You pull up on your steering wheel when driving up a hill
    *Your car is parked in the driveway because your unicycles are parked in the garage
    *You signal a turn and hit your wife
    *You have an aircushion on the drivers seat
    *You know the distance of every point of interest within 20miles of your house as well as the location of every pot-hole along the way
    *You read this expecting it to be funny and then realise that it all applies to you

    I found this in an old copy of a mountainbike club newsletter while packing up my house and thought it would be funny to plagiarise and modify it a bit

    Can you add any more?
    Adventure Unicyclist

    Alps 2 Ocean


    Unistan: The Uzbekistan Unicycle Tour

    Induni: The India Unicycle Tour

    Monguni: The Mongolia Unicycle Tour

  • #2
    Re: You know you are a unicyclist when.....

    Originally posted by GizmoDuck
    Can you add any more?
    In 1997, Peter Bier posted this (which after 6 years shows its age here and there):

    You know you are addicted to unicycling when:

    *All your pants have matching worn patches around the crutch area.
    *Everywhere you go people stare at you and your mode of transport.
    *You cease to notice that people stare at you.
    *People who know you stare when you pass them *without* a unicycle.
    *You have four wheels but don't own a car or a bike.

    *You view walking as a weird way of getting around
    *Your maneuverability surpasses that of pedistrians.
    *You stop to talk to a friend and don't dismount even though the
    conversation lasts 5 minutes.
    *Jump mounts seem like a good idea.
    *You view riding off picnic tables as being a challenge, instead of being
    suicidal.

    *Wheel walking becomes a viable way of getting around.
    *Judder bars don't slow you down.
    *The fact that your arm is in a sling doesn't stop you from riding.
    *Your 180 jump spin falls spectacularly. You pull the socks up to cover
    the blood and carry on riding pretending its not there.
    *Your shins and calves have your pedal pattern engraved on them.

    *Your unicycle doesn't leave your side during the entire day.
    *You forget how to walk.
    *Your unicycle has a drink bottle mounted on it, and a bike pump, and a
    bell, and lights, and...
    *Currency is measured in terms of unicycles: things are worth one
    unicycle, or two pedals or a seat.
    *You start exhibiting withdrawal symptons when you break something and
    have to wait for a part.

    *You own a 20" for freestyle, a 24" for Muni, a 28" for commuting and a
    26" to complete the set.
    *You use posts to fling yourself into 360 uni spins instead rather than
    using the to mount.
    *Your cranks are bent within one week of getting a new unicycle (bunny
    hopping is definately an in thing)
    *Coasting begins to look like it *is* possible.

    Hope you enjoyed that:-) Just a few things I've noticed about unicycle
    nuts (mostly personal experience)

    o Peter Bier - computing student
    o O o pjb10@waikato.ac.nz
    o(|\o (delete nospam- to send a message)
    ================
    And in 2000 Neil Dunlop wrote:

    You pass a stranger in the street and they point and shout "D'you know
    you've got a wheel missing!". You're not riding a unicycle.
    ================

    Klaas Bil

    Comment


    • #3
      signal a turn and hit your wife? you must be from one of those backwards countries where the driver sits on the right side

      Comment


      • #4
        For the record I don't have a wife, and that should work whatever side car you sit in anyway.

        Besides, that was plagiarised from a MTB newletter which probably came off some magazine from a country that uses old fashioned Imperial numeric systems (NB the 20miles)
        Adventure Unicyclist

        Alps 2 Ocean


        Unistan: The Uzbekistan Unicycle Tour

        Induni: The India Unicycle Tour

        Monguni: The Mongolia Unicycle Tour

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by ubersquish
          signal a turn and hit your wife? you must be from one of those backwards countries where the driver sits on the right side
          On a bike you can signal a right turn with your right hand. On a *bicycle* that is. On a motorcycle you generally signal with your left hand, while your right holds the throttle. I guess this is the same in the UK and other "wrong side" countries, though car signals would all be done with the right hand.
          Last edited by johnfoss; 2003-09-17, 05:49 PM.
          John Foss
          www.unicycling.com

          "Who is going to argue with a mom who can ride a unicycle?" -- Forums member "HiMo"

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: You know you are a unicyclist when.....

            Originally posted by GizmoDuck
            *Any one of your unicycles is worth more than your car
            I don't think I ever got to that point. Expensive unicycles only became available after I could afford "recent" cars.
            *You choose an apartment/flat solely on the basis of how close the trails are
            *Your work colleagues think of unicycles as a mainstream form of transport
            *Your car is parked in the driveway because your unicycles are parked in the garage
            All of these have been true for me at one point or another.
            *You buy a car based on whether your Coker will fit in the back
            Every car I've bought since 1982 has had to fit my 45" big wheel. Yup, station wagons and minivans. Some people just don't get it. But when it comes time to take a lot of people or a lot of "stuff" somewhere, my car is the one that gets used!

            That was a great list, thanks for making it up!
            John Foss
            www.unicycling.com

            "Who is going to argue with a mom who can ride a unicycle?" -- Forums member "HiMo"

            Comment


            • #7
              The car I had when I got my big wheel:
              Attached Files
              John Foss
              www.unicycling.com

              "Who is going to argue with a mom who can ride a unicycle?" -- Forums member "HiMo"

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by johnfoss
                On a bike you can signal a right turn with your right hand.
                John, while you *can* signal this way on a bike, I belive the appropriate and lawful signal in the US is the same as for motorcycle or car (or used to be anyway). Left hand straight out for left turn. Left hand out and up (90 degree bend at elbow) for right turn. Left hand out and 45 degree down for slow/stopping.

                Signals with the left arm are more visable to other drivers on the road.

                I believe one could be ticketed on a bike for not signaling but I doubt it happens very often. I have know riders to get tickets for other moving violations.

                -Cubby
                Made it over my first speed bump yesterday on the forth try
                If I could walk that way I wouldn't need the talcum powder. (ba-da-bum)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: You know you are a unicyclist when.....

                  ....you are waiting to cross a street, and you rock back and forth with your
                  arms sticking out, enjoying all of the attention that you are getting, until
                  you remember that you are on foot.

                  ==============
                  Another Joe in MN
                  Level 2 and holding
                  ==============

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The local playground had tire tracks on the slides, not shoe skids.

                    You can tell the difference between the sand in 2 seemingly identical sandboxes just by whether you can ride through them.

                    You buy shoes with a pair of your unicycle pedals and a tire, to see how the tread will hold up for gliding and how the shoes will grip the pedals.

                    Every concrete ledge in the neighbourhood has tire tracks on them and wearing paint from pedal grabs.

                    When you can watch universe and say that stuff is easy.

                    When your homepage is unicycle or unicyclist.com.

                    When you ride more miles per day then you walk.

                    I'll have some more later. I've experienced most of these symptoms, with the exception of the universe one. I also have a recurrent problem with the last one.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      how about

                      - when your hands starting at the wrist are noticeably whiter then the rest of your arms.

                      this happens to me all the time

                      DOH! already mentioned, sorry.
                      Last edited by zach_jucha; 2003-09-17, 11:02 PM.
                      hey i'm back

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        i'll try to redeem myself here, how about

                        - when you find yourself looking up in the dictionary every word that begins with the prefix "uni"
                        hey i'm back

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: You know you are a unicyclist when.....

                          In article <Cubby.twyqf@timelimit.unicyclist.com>,
                          Cubby <Cubby.twyqf@timelimit.unicyclist.com> wrote:
                          )
                          )johnfoss wrote:
                          )> *On a bike you can signal a right turn with your right hand. *
                          )
                          )
                          )John, while you *can* signal this way on a bike, I belive the
                          )appropriate and lawful signal in the US is the same as for motorcycle or
                          )car (or used to be anyway). Left hand straight out for left turn. Left
                          )hand out and up (90 degree bend at elbow) for right turn. Left hand out
                          )and 45 degree down for slow/stopping.

                          California Vehicle Code:

                          22111. All required signals given by hand and arm shall be given
                          from the left side of a vehicle in the following manner:
                          (a) Left turn--hand and arm extended horizontally beyond the side
                          of the vehicle.
                          (b) Right turn--hand and arm extended upward beyond the side of
                          the vehicle, except that a bicyclist may extend the right hand and
                          arm horizontally to the right side of the bicycle.
                          -Tom

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            that's how it is in texas too, or at least that's what i was told by a cop when i was in elementary school

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: You know you are a unicyclist when.....


                              "Tom Holub" <doosh@inl.org> wrote in message
                              news:8r7ab.4398$vn.20122@sea-read.news.verio.net...
                              > In article <Cubby.twyqf@timelimit.unicyclist.com>,
                              > Cubby <Cubby.twyqf@timelimit.unicyclist.com> wrote:
                              > )
                              > )johnfoss wrote:
                              > )> *On a bike you can signal a right turn with your right hand. *
                              > )
                              > )
                              > )John, while you *can* signal this way on a bike, I belive the
                              > )appropriate and lawful signal in the US is the same as for motorcycle or
                              > )car (or used to be anyway). Left hand straight out for left turn. Left
                              > )hand out and up (90 degree bend at elbow) for right turn. Left hand out
                              > )and 45 degree down for slow/stopping.
                              >
                              > California Vehicle Code:
                              >
                              > 22111. All required signals given by hand and arm shall be given
                              > from the left side of a vehicle in the following manner:
                              > (a) Left turn--hand and arm extended horizontally beyond the side
                              > of the vehicle.
                              > (b) Right turn--hand and arm extended upward beyond the side of
                              > the vehicle, except that a bicyclist may extend the right hand and
                              > arm horizontally to the right side of the bicycle.
                              > -Tom


                              Thanks Tom, I stand corrected. Since these are state laws I should have
                              known there's be differences.
                              By the way KS and IL are as I stated above. MO on the other hand is not
                              specific and it's almost as if an automobile driver could signal a right
                              turn by reaching over and signaling through the passenger window.

                              Now what was it we were talking about... Oh yeah, you know your are a
                              unicyclist when it doesn't strike you odd seeing a tire with well defined
                              wear spots every 90 degrees.

                              -Cubby




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